gudbye 2010... hello 2011

tingal beberapa jam je lagi sebelum masuk tahun 2o11.. hello new year.. i hope a lot of luck will surround me this year.. insyaAllah... as i said, i wish to have one last post for 2010. so here we go... wanna talk about what happened in this year.. tak kisah la pape kan. but rasa cam nak wat apa yang best n apa yang tak best sepanjang tahun 2010 nih..

yang best

• alhamdulillah dapat kembali ke melaka. bawak balik ke perlis satu kemenangan "johan dondang sayang MAKUM. heheh
• join nasyid belia kebangsaan di terengganu.. alhamdulillah tempat ke-tiga..walaupun ada beberapa perkara yang tak best kat sana yang bakal diceritakan nanti
• festkapp join and won 2nd place irama malaysia.. hek3
• banyak gi jenjalan.. untung woo bawah unimap ni...huhuhu
• join festkum wakil unimap irama malaysia perempuan.. won 2nd place even waktu latihan memang sangatlah teruk... kire terbayar penat lelah.. ngee~
• first time dapat join family day maasom akidah. i mean while i'm realizing. dulu pon join gak... but kecik lagi... huhuhu.. best..even ada yang tak best... argghhh
• banyak show..esp nasyid.. sebab bulan puasakan. jadi nasyid diutamakan
• first time dapat nyanyi depan tuanku raja muda n tuanku raja permaisuri muda perlis.. great honour utk perform depan dorang n dapat pujian dr raja permaisuri muda n others. ngee~ bangga
• seronok kejar kelas.. sebelum ni tak pun, tapi seronok gi kelas sebab masuk banyak event but still can manage my class well
• first time bawak kereta kat perlis which follow up with yang tak best

yang tak best

• sabotaj!!!! grr.. masa nasyid terengganu.. i am so not hearing the girls voice actually dat time, finally i make their voicing.. hilang terus.. besides our 3rd solo punya mic tak bukak.. aish... and ada plak makhluk2 yang main sindir2.. baru la jumpa org melayu yang busuk hati.. haish!
• maasom akidah family day, i diberi peluang utk organize one performance from padang rengas punya family... and we sort of tak cukup practice, so,the performance was worst... tak pe lah.. pengalaman
• banyak sakit. demam. batuk sangat banyak. adoi.. kesihatan sangat tak baik dis year.
• hampir accident... masa first time bawak manual kat perlis. damn it.
• my opah meninggal..:( keilangan yang tiada ganti.. sob sob
• fall in love with two person which are damn impossible for them to accept. they know nothing, so i guess i'm still safe

banyak sebenarnya.. but a lot of private things... so, biarlah ini sahaja yang dipaparkan...

as i said, my health in 2010 sangat2lah teruk... so, here are few things which i think i'll buy once duit PT masuk nnt:

1. vitamin
2. pati ayam brands

and other things that is related.. but those two things i'll buy it.. heheh

well people... happy new year... apa azam anda?

ini kawan saya 1

hohoho... kawan saya ni telah minta saya wat satu post untuk dia... but saya buat ni bukan sebab dia mintak k... but sebab tertingal nama dia dalam appreciation for festkum ri tu.. hehehh.. sorry naa.. jangan marah n jangan sedih..

Nazrul Aziz

tu dia hang tuah pakai baju pink.. errkk..pink ke merah? rabun warna sat (-.-")

ye ke nama dia nazrul aziz ek? i barely know him la... i mean in detail.. we're friend, but, i tak habis explore lagi nih.. heheh

sesi perkenalan: bermula di dalam van masa nak gi dondang sayang. en nazrul ni ialah ahli pantun unimap. hebatkan? madahnye puitis.. ngeh3.. sekali pandang, macam kerek, but bila da bercakap, mula la... adoiii... huhu en nazrul dan rakan2nya telah membetukan sedikit sebanyak pantun untuk nyanyian dondang sayang kami. waktu tu maksud suda ada, cuma pembayang sahaja tak sesuai. dondang sayang kalo nak nyanyi kena ada 9 suku kata. lebey kurang la.. maka, dalam van sewaktu mula perjalanan dr unimap ke tempat2 berkaitan, mereka tolongla sedikit sebanyak.. heheheh..

about him from my view: hurm.. camne nak mula ek? ok... selain dr mejadi ahli pantun unimap, dia juga merupakan seorang emcee.. errkkk.. betul eh ejaan dia camtu? watever.. nak dijadikan cerita, he needs a lot of self control, sebab sometimes, without intention, akan terkeluar "high key"... hanya orang2 tertentu sahaja yang faham maksud nih. but, they make a very good trio on stage when jadi emcee. him, kak aida n coki. sebab tak penah tgk naz sorang2 lagi jadi emcee... biasa tgk ngan kak aida or bertiga.. heheh

he is an outspoken person. what he hate, he'll say. at least for me. sepanjang kawan ngan en naz ni, da banyak dah kena tegur.. especialy bout my appearence. sometimes, yes hurt. but i won't take a long time to accept. he's telling the truth, ta de maknanya nak tarik2 muka maki2 dalam hati bila org tegur menda yang betul. some people say that i'm heartless, but this is the reason why.. no point for me nak tacing2 kalo menda betul. kan?

aside from that, beliau lah yang berada di belakang tabir ketika saya down waktu latihan festkum. datang menemani saya latihan, and we got a lot of talk. thanks sebab "mengaku" saya awek awak ye wak eh... hehehe... jokes.. but bila kita ada dengan org yang kita comfortable and trust to expess our feeling, sometimes it gives a lot help with our emotions. and there he is... but bukan la dia sorang je.. ada orang lain.. kang ada je yang fire aku sebab statement yang aku keluarkan... adoii

kenapa best kawan ngan dia? : no hipokrit. he'll talk whatever he wants. i'll survive better dengan orang yang outspoken dr org yang pura2 suka padahal belakang kutuk but, naz wat camtu tak naz? kalu naz wat, tak mo kawan dah. hehehe.. once a person said something about me, 'll take time to think back of waht they said.. this help me. but... jangan pasni outspoken sangat ye naz... kita slow2 sket..ngeh3

aside from that, ada je topik yang nak dibualkan.. kekadang start ngan A but ending ngan Z... but seriously, best.. tapi kekadang penat gelak.. hek3..

ada lagi sebabnya.. tak ley cakap lelebey... kang kembang plak... huhuhu.. that's all lah... ngeh3.. thanks naz...sebab sudi jadi kawan isya..huhu..

-out-

kerana pengalaman

kerana lirikan kau jatuh cinta,
kerna senyuman kau tiada berdaya,
sehingga membuat ku tak percaya,
begitu cepatnya hatimu tergoda,
sedangkan aku tiada merasa,
sayang sungguh sayang,
ku ada yang punya,
baik kau cari yang lain saja

andainya aku oh masih sendiri,
aku terima dengan hati gembira,
ini semua jadi pengalaman,
gagalnya cinta awal persahabatan,
baiknya sekarang,
engkau fikirkan

aku ucapkan terima kasih,
atas cintamu pada diriku,
baiklah kau cari yang lain saja,
kerana diriku ada yang punya

pernah dengar lagu ni? mesti tak pernahkan? lagu ni di popluarkan oleh zaleha hamid.. dangdut beb dangdut.. huhuh... well aku search kat you tube and indonesia cakap ada one of heir singer punya lagu, but who cares. aku suka dengar. lantak ah... hahah.. aku sanggup taip lirik lagu ni tau... cr kat en google tak de plak... (-.-")

actually, aku suka lagu ni sebab lagu ni sesuai sangat dengan situation aku sekarang.. but, bukan aku yang tujukan lagu ni kat org tu,org tu yang tujukan lagu ni kat aku. walaupun he's not really dedicating this song to me.. aku je yang pandai2.. ngee~

the song is so in to me.. i mean the lyrics. mudahnya aku jatuh hati kat dia.. tergoda.. aww.. tapi dia tak de pape pun... maybe dia anggap aku as friend only, friend yang biasa2 sahaja..

the lyrics "begitu cepatnya hatimu tergoda sedangkan aku tiada merasa"... kena sangat lah tu.

damn it ape lah senang sangat jatuh hati ni? i think i should go away.. sekarang ni pun, if nampak dia online, i'll offline my chat. it's not about him actually.. it's about me. i'm helping myself so that i won't hurt myself. coz i don't deserve anyone love right now. i won't manage it well

ps:// i really hope he'll not readin this.. will cause me a lot of touble... not him in the post, but another one, my friend,the one who always protect me from this kind of stupid stuff. but seriously, i am so glad to have you coz you always care bout me, even sometimes you're annoying to me

izinkan saya jadi stalker page awak

.tak kira la FB ke Blog ke.

.saya ak boley nak luahkan banyak2 walaupun pada kawan2 saya.

.sebab bila saya luahkan, tiba2 awak hampakan saya.

.saya takut.

.saya tak boleh nak berhadapan dengan perkataan kecewa.

.jadi, benarkan saya suka kat awak.

.walaupun awak tak tahu.

.walaupun awak tak kan tahu.

.tapi inilah yang ada dalam hati saya.


mood: singing cinta dalam hati..

ps:// i wish he knows what i feel, but at the same time, i wish he don't know.. (T.T)

me on festkum 2010

ahahha.. siyesly nak cerita banyak banyak banyak... it's a very long journey tau.. ahahha... huhuhu.. ok.. i'll begin now.. heheh.. kepada yang nk baca tu, sila siapkan persediaan mental dan fizikal anda ye..heheh..da la banyak merapu

before festkum

well, bout few weeks after festkapp, i got call from Libren. asking me to come for a practice for Irama Malaysia. but, i don't really care because he said ada audition. and at that time, i don't know sape lagi yang nak di audition. but then still i went there...

and at that time, rupanya it's only me yang wakil for perempuan..another girl yang datang (taiyo) is for nyanyian antarabangsa... so dorang wat audition for guys.. masa festkapp ri tu, 1st place ngan 3rd place dua-dua lelaki.. so yang third place (balade) tu ckp dia tarik diri sebab dia nak join boria... ok..so confirmation hari tu, its me and anuar yang join utk irama malaysia lelaki n perempuan.

first latihan, masa study week.. abg det tade lagi time tu.. so when azuan (sort of my mentor gak la) ask me, nak bawak lagu apa, i just said "candak".. ada beberapa influences sebenarnya pilih lagu ni... first, sebab my mum memang suka lagu ni, and 2nd sebab last 3 years i went for ASAT (anugerah seri asrama terbilang) 2007, there's a contestant bawak lagu ni... and she won.. but i'm not sure if it's 2nd place or 3rd place. kebiasaannya.. i akan pilih lagu yang org bawak and menang dari pilih lagu yang I tahu. so, once i said i nak bawak lagu candak, my mentor sort of cam excited je... trus dia bagi minus 1 lagu tu siap ngan lirik skali.. so da ada minus 1, why don't trus pilih je kan? so first trial, cam kambing la.. but ok ok sahaja... abes latihan balik, pastu no more latihan... just joking.. rest... sebab banjir.. huuhuh

2nd latihan pun still abg det tak de... sebab dia gi imtgt... datang, but rasa cam nothing je lah... but datang for the 2nd time, dapat curi2 lenggok dr en mentor.. candak sangat susah nak improvise and cr lenggok... so bila dapat, dengar, and try.. if anyone ask me how the original singer wat part tu, memang tak ingat dah..heheh

3rd latihan.. hurm first time latihan ngan abg det.. siyesly, banyak gila kesalahan... abg det nek kan 2 key sebab low note tak dengar or in another words memang tak ley buat ah... so bila nak nyanyi memang adoi terasa gila tekak sakit.. sebab guna suara tekak bukan perut or any other place. tekanan gak time tu... but, waktu tu, memang tak sedar wat silap.. rasa cam da ikut note yang betul, tp salah. bila dengar recording.. haiyooo..sumbang mambang... grrr

nearly festkum

hurm we got preview infront of our VC.. so pagi selasa 7/12, kami pun bergegas la pi cr baju, n practice sket2... time tu abg det memang suruh guna naik 2 key tu.. but when i try, OMG, semput.. so finally guna je la key asal..

i thought maybe ok lah kot, because b4 ni pun memang comfortable ngan key tu... so malam tu, di make up kan oleh classmates ku. but something happened before i naik beakang stage. nervous.. and try to handle it by thinkng of the past...the last2 sucessfull show, but can't... finally nervous breakdown.. tahniah.

when i start to open my mouth, note first memang out langsung.. damnit! rasa sakit hati gila... and malam tu ada pengkritik. and they don't want to comment anything about voice... they just said, masih ada masa lagi utk perbaiki suara.. malam tu memang sangat teruk kena kritik.. dr confident level, ke pakaian pun.. ahahaah... sampai seorang tu ckp, "awak jangan down pulak dengar apa kami cakap nih"... ahaha.. bley la imagine teruk kan my performance that night.. ahahah..

overall memang aku la yang paling teruk malam tu.. down gila balik tu..try berfikir sejenak nape bley jadi cam tu. huuu~

sesi latihan after preview

nothing enjoys me so much. i request nak tukar lagu, but abg det kata amik je lagu candak sebab penawar rindu susah for me nak hold note. feels like everyday is getting worst while my trainer (abg det) ckp is getting better.. ada improvement dari sebelum... memang down..rasa nyanyi pun cam menyakitkan hati je.. actually down ngan pengritik tu malam tu je...but mood tu da hilang ke mana...

ahad tu ada orang nak datang ajarkan lengok sikit2... so sabtu malam tu, call lah someone yang selalu men'down'kan aku bila aku wat something..ahahha... he was in singapore that time, so then dia call balik.. as usual, he said " sore ko memang tak sedap, kaku, menyakitkan telinga, don't hope to win bla bla bla"... lagi down la kan dat time.. then only dia cakap...

"see..., you're not confident with yourself. you never trust your talent. all you care is what people says about you. just don't give a damn about what they said.. try your best... and tust your talent... winnng or losing doesn't matter..."

once dia ckp camtu, trus cuba dapatkan balik semngat.. try fikir why i like singing... it just because i love to do so.. so, takyah dengar apa org nk ckp... ahaha..ada la apa yang i keep thinking about what people said about me.. and try to trust myself jugak. then malam tu jugak, mesej with my friend.sort of sister la.. and she said about niat..

"niat biar betul.. jangan masuk pertandingan sebab nak menang... masuk pertandingan for experienced and untuk puaskan hati sendiri.."

ahahah..salah niat..asek pk apa orang ckp je.. so niat tu "aku nak menang sbb b4 ni aku johan dondang sayang"... this is why i keep thinking about what people will say about me.

set balik semua and mulakan yang baru... it's sunday... someone datang ajar utk improvised lenggok... then he ask about puas tak bila menyanyi... then i said ntah... but then we try naik satu key.. and from the moment kepuasan itu sangat jelas... ahaks~ actually, it's only me who scared of high note... padahal lagu candak tu bukan lah tinggi mana..ngee...

and bila dah tukar key neh, asek tak cukup plak part chorus tuh..geram geram... setiap kali wat silap mesti rasa serba salah punya..ye lah sebab abg det sengih je... suruh be carefull kat part tuh... tension.. bila sampai part chorus je mesti jadi less confident..haiyoo...

then tgk student international practice for international singing... lagi kesian coz 1 of our singer tu langsung tak ley ckp malay... risau gila... but then she work extra hard with the language..ngee~ nice work Li Tong.

FESTKUM BEGIN

hari first..15/12/2010
still bangun lambat... pergi latihan pukul 2.. pukul 5 baru pergi uitm utk daftar... then balik UKR utk latihan student international and us.. urgh.. time ni mengawal keadaan utk stay fokus dan jangan ambil peduli sape saingan sape... then dapat tahu yang anuar, irama malaysia lelaki

hari 2nd...16/12/2010
bangun lambat... pukul 2 baru pergi ukr..curi slot bdk international punya latihan... time dorang make up, time tu la practice lagi... huhuhu.. that niht pergi support student international punya competition... you all did great.... the mistakes, it's ok..we didn't get enough time..huu~ malam tu tido pukul 12..uitm hostel reminds me of SMK ghafar baba.. my school before..damn miss it.. but seriously, i prefer wang ulu eventhough it is 'ulu'

hari 3rd... 17/12/2010
wake up early in the morning..ada rehearsal pagi... but group kedua so maybe lambat sikit kot... so bangun gi sarapan, the tunggu la my turn.. damn it la.. lama gila kan... punya la ramai contestant..i am no 14 kalu overall, but kalo ikut no giliran malam tu no 5.

reheasal pn dah naik satu badan cuak.. walaupun banak lawak telah dikemukakan oleh en azuan, but still... so about another contestant nak wat rehearsal, azuan soh kuar dulu, wat warm up n breathing.. but gemuruh tak hilang.. so, segala jenis tarian telah keluar that part.. joget, inang, bla bla2.. bila naik atas pentas.. waahhh, jalan je terus..aahahha

saingan sebenarnya sangat banyak.. they have a very good advantage at voice.. rendah diri sangat time tu.. but terus kan je. punya lah ramai bawak lagu balqis.. i am the only one bawak lagu candak. seb bek abg det berkeras gak stick kan lagu tu.. ehhehe

petang tu balik UKR sat, wat latihan ngan abg det. for those yang dapat tgk video kat FB, you'll see berapa banyak kena tegur bout confident, gaya, and teknik. confident level sangat low that time... dengan lawak pasal kasut semua..cuak gila time tu...

after make up, praktis sket sebanyak, then blah pi uitm.

i pray that what happened durng the preview will not happened again. memang damn cuak.. but relax2... and paling penting, abg det datang naik belakang pentas bagi semangat boley? heheh..thanks abg det... at that time dia just ckp "buat yang terbaik, jangan sia-siakan segala latihan yang dah kita buat"... at that time, memang terasa gila lah..

so naik atas stage, tak pk dah pasal saingan aku artis ke, pemenang lagu asli b4 ke, pro ke, yang penting aku nak naik atas stage utk wat terbaik... but muka memang tak ley blah cuak.. obvious gila..ahahha

habis je performance, gi duduk kat penonton, don't care about winnng or losing that time... dah buat yang temampu... at that time memang buang jauh2 harapan nak menang as beberapa lengok cam tak jadi.. huhuhu... but abg det kata, tak de salah... it's ok...

balik dr performed, cuci2 muka, then lepak ngan rion n nina kat bawah... rio kata lenggok dia macam mula tak jadi... but i said, "try your best lah rio.. boley punya... aku pun cam tak menjadi jugak"... then he said something aboutmy performance... dia ckp, as i'm finish singing, one of our judge tepuk tangan... but my question is."tepuk tangan nape? suka kat persembahan tu ke or glad it's over?"

hari 4th...18/12/2010
hari utk pertandingan irama malaysia kategori lelaki.. hurm..as usual bagun awal pagi, kejut si anuar..adoii... jenuh menunggu si anuar nak buat rehearsal.. peserta lelaki lagi demand dr girls.. sorang nak wat dua kali... yang perempuan tak semua wat dua kali.. huhu...

cam biasa, lepas makan tgh hari gi balik ukr, wat final touch up, make up and bla bla bla... then about 7.30 baru bertolak pergi ke uitm...bley plak separuh jalan tu, si anuar tertinggal tengkolok dia kat ukr... adoi... seb bek la si azuan tu buka dr jenis membebel... kalu bukan azuan, aku rasa tahan telinga dek bising je la dlm kereta... dia siap wat lawak lagi...adoii...

and suara sorang2 sangat best... aiyoo... menusuk kalbu... but siyesly, memberi kesan ialah mohon kasih from ukm... best... huhuhu... our contestant make a mistakes at the early of his performance.. kalu tak...hurmmm~~~

malam tu kami tak tido uitm dah.. kami pi balik wang ulu... dapat la melepak dengan olie, kak ati(UPSI) n erra(UTM)... ni suma geng2 dondang sayang. jumpa balik kat festkum owh ye.. rio pun dondang sayang gak..aside from them, jumpa husna ngan minah, dua2 join irama malaysia, n hafiz join boria..

PENUTUP -hari 5th - 19/12/2010

i woke up in the morning utk join senam seni.. ok at this moment, kepala asyik fikir, perlu tak pakai costume malam ni, but then memang wajib pakai kostum, sebab awalnye, nak kena join perarakan masuk kontijen.. but then tak jadi plak... i spoil it..ahhhaahha

so terus duduk and stay je sampai la announce pemenang. masa dorang announce irama malaysia lelaki, i was like "ok, tak mungkin menang"... so tarik keluar selipar dr dalam beg, gantikan.. my heels, i put into the plastics, then masukkan dalam beg... i was like target kalo ada placing pun maybe no 3.. so when our MC announce, 3rd place when to unisza, i was like "ok.. takde rezeki.. next year lah cuba lagi"..heheh

tapi hati still dup dap dup dap... cuak gila time neh... tatau nape... huhuh.. then MC begins back," tempat ke 2 jatuh kepada....saya sure akan mendapat sorakan gemuruh... pesrta tuan rumah," i straight pull out my shoes, campak ke bawah, "UniMAP"..damn it.. kelam kabut pakai kasut... chokee da siap betulkan kasut lagi..ahahha... lawak gila time tu..da la tak make up bagai, sangat2 lah simple.. en wan nak cover kelambatan dan keselekehan aku malam tu, telah suruh 2 pengiring iring sekali naik atas.. but only pemegang bendera je aku nampak.. ahahah... da melambatkan majlis, apa lagi? lari je la pakai heels.. heheh

siyesly tak expect pun menang..saingan sangat besar n kuat.. dondang sayang ri tu, kalau tak menang memang jatuh maruah, but irama malaysia festkum memang tak give a lot of hope.. but i got a lot of experienced from festkum which i will apply in the future.. heee...

if anyone want to ask me what i got, i without doubt will tell you about it...heheh..

festkum dapat kawan baru lagi.. nabila from usim... nina from UMS and others... from upsi... hee..sorry tak dapat borak lama ngan korang..huu~ i'm sure we'll meet again in future.. heheeh

thanks a lot kat libren sebab panggil wakil irama malaysia, kat abg det sebab banyak ajar, kat azuan sebab sanggup susah payah walaupun baru balik dari australia, kat geng2 boria, tarian, band sebab banyak bagi sokongan. to band, you guys did a good job, but luck tak de la dis time... insyaAllah in future...

ya allah... penat kot menaip..hahahah.. rasanya ni paling panjang pernah dibuat kot hehehe.. don't blame me it's bored... da warn awal2..ahahah

try and error

internet yang cm tolol ni telah menyebabkan aku sangat susah nak update blog. so, this is a try an error post.. kalu dapat post, maka terpostlah post yang ini..

time aku pressure2 exam ni... actually tak pressure pun... sebab here i am, jawab exam dengan preparation yang sudah siap. tapi debaran tu tetap ada... wah gaya cakap yang sangat artis... debaran kian terasa. ahahha...

alah... mungkin ini lah sem terakhir jadi artis unimap. artis ke? poyo sangat.. memang damn ah! huhuhu... tak mau la artis2 neh... tak bagus pun.... like what i said to my friend, " i'm sort of toiet singer, but no longer singing in there". malu woooo

so by next year, i kow that i'll be able to achieve back my great pointer.. skang kambing la taraf pointer aku.

owh, jap, menyimpang jap.. ok, dalam pressure2 aku, wujud lah satu mimpi waktu aku tido... satu mimpi yang wat aku angau tak sudah... terima lah...

JOHNNY DEPP

damn, aku angau sudah. huhuhu.... but dia appear berapa minit je... guiding me to be someone and confident... in the dream lah tapi... outside, my confident level sangat lah low.. hik hik..

at least kehadiran dia dalam mimpi tersebut berjaya membuang angau saya kepada seseorang.. sape? ada lah... seorang tu. tak mampu nak bagi tahu... dekat... but hilang da.. hihih...

thanks to mr Depp.

actualy the person yang i angau tu, i tak ley angau ngan dia.. tak boley sebab memang i takkan dapat dia.. hahah.. no effort.

i want to angau my fluid mechanics like i angau johnny depp.. heheheh...

sorry to vanessa paradis. i adore your hubby so much... but, he's in my aunt age. no point of making him as my hubby.. he won't want too..hik.

between, i like vanessa paradis song - be my baby. should sing this song to someone i love later.future.maybe.

hati, sabar lah...

rasa macam nak meletup dah ahti aku sebab tahan perasaan. suka2 hati nak mempertaruhkan orang punya future dengan syarat dia punya kerja siap. damn you so much.

aku sendiri tak tau menyumpah kat sape sekarang ni.. and yang paling aku sumpah sebenarnya ialah aku. aku yang letak diri aku kat keadaan ni. n aku la punca kenapa semua ni jadi kat aku.

kalo lah aku tak takut perkataan boring, tak de nye aku kelam kabut macam ni.

i don't care anymore if anyone see this post then kena amil tindakan. because seharian aku menyesakkan kepala aku dengan benda yang sepatutnya aku tak buat dalam tempoh exam ni. aku sendiri tak tahu kenapa susah sangat untuk aku menghampakan orang. susah ke nak cakap tak nak? no? tak mahu? yes, memang susah untuk aku..

tapi kali ni, kepayahan aku untuk say no tu lah yang menyebabkan aku susah... aku tak tahu nak mengadu kat siapa lagi. aku tak nak, tapi aku tak bleh cakap tak nak. n now, i'm regret it so much.

i wish if..

i could turn back the time..

i think, it's about 5 am in the morning, when my dad enter the room, calming my mum, telling her that opah has passed away. i didn't heard it well, because at that time, blur blur because tgh tido.

but then when my mum start talking with her harsh voice (because of crying), i straightly ask her why. when she start to speak "pah dah tak de" i feel empty. nothing. sad, no. hurt maybe. because i didn't spend quality time with her during the last event.

kecewa sangat2. sebab berbual dengan dia sangat2 tak mesra. kat rumah ayah tam masa kenduri hari tu, dia sempat tanya bila cuti, and bila i said bulan 12, dia just diam je. tak cakap apa... then i leave.

and waktu tu sangat rushing nak balik. i don't even remember pergi salam dia. i think i don't. but she looked really healthy that time. and i thought i'll be able to talk with her again later, in the holiday that i have planned to spend half in her house.

i'll be missing her so much.

if i could turn back time, i want to go back to three weeks ago. i won't straight went home in seremban.. but i'll stay perak for few days before went back. hati sebenarnya dah berat nak balik ke seremban.. but i thought maybe sebab i takut accident, but rupa2nya.... i didn't spend enough time with her.

tapi..... redhakan lah dia pergi.

Al-fatihah

lately

yesterday tido pukul 3 pagi.. main game jap. kepala exhauted nagn math n fluid.pasni nak usha thermodynamic plak. about pukul 3 am, tutup lampu n tarik selimut sampai paras dagu.

about 30 min tido, tetiba rasa seram sejuk.. blu tengkuk memang dah naik la time tu. rasa kaki pun keras je.. ntah nape ntah.. but before tido tu da memang baca suma yang biasa baca.. 3 qul, alfatihah, ayat kursi, doa tido, mengucap ngan selawat (not in sequence)

i stay quiet sat..n i feel my eyes memang tak ley bukak. means, i am sedar dalam tido. but once i wake up, my eyes terus menghala ke arah pintu bilik air. suasana bilik tu agak terang, sebab jiran belakang rumah bukak lampu dapur dia.

once i got my strength, i straight take my blanket, my pillow, heading downstairs, joining my mum, my dad n adik tido depan tv.. tak lama... 1 hour je tido kat bawah. bout 4.30 am, naik atas balik, continue tido.

damn betul. actually tak de pape pun.. just tetiba datang perasaan takut tu.. dulu tak macam nih. dulu bley je tido kat atas ni sensorang. but, lately nih, penakut bukan2. kadang2 geram plak.. benda ni berlaku lepas something happened infront of me. sejak hari tu terus jadi penakut sampai macam ni..

masa benda tu berlaku infont of me, about a week jugak lah i tak masuk bilik alone.. stay outside dengan my mum. memang scary bila ingat.. but hen try recover, n recover, alhamdulillah, takut tu kurang sikit.. but sangat takut bila bilik digelapkan n alone..

hurm.. insyaAllah takde pape.. maybe it's just me who thinks too much.

happy birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PROF SYAUQI

((eheh. prof ke? ahahah..jangan marah naa))

this is one of my friend kat unimap yang terlibat ngan kebudayaan. en syauqi amar.. ahahah... talented nih.. bley jadi mc, join nasyid, menari... huhuhu

happy birthday na chokee. tgh bosan ni.. kalo tak, tak de maknanya nak buat post nih.. hahahha
yang keberapa ntah? 17 ke? takkan setiap tahun pun 17? heee...
balik unimap nnt isya tuntut secret recipe eh..hek3

for the first time

for the first time, i am sad doing what i really love to do.

22/11/10 - 4/12/10 : final exam
24/11/10 - 29/11/10 : imtgt (thailand, songkla)

see the date. it is clash. then dapat mesej suruh bagi kod matapelajaran for paper yang bertindih tuh. aku geram nih... aku rasa sedih, sebab aku terpaksa sacrifice time exam aku.

takut kot.. da la aku cam kambing je ngan subjek sem nih. n antara paper yang aku kena skip ialah math kejut, engineering entrepreneurship dengan, FLUID MECHANICS. shit tak?

da lah aku banyak kali skip test math utk program U. mdm suhana pun da kenal aku sebab selalu sangat skip test. tak la selalu... math ada 2 test je utk carry marks. tapi 2-2 test tu aku skip. yang first tu aku buat awal sebab nak gi terengganu for nasyid. yang 2nd test tu aku skip utk festkapp. skip satu hari..warggghhh tekanan aku..

aku suka main violin, tapi masalahnya kepala aku berserabut dengan dua killer subject (fluid, thermo) ngan satu yang dah hampir nak bunuh tapi aku merayu (math kejut 3), 2 subject yang cary marks aku rasa tak sampai separuh ( autocad, ethnic) dan satu pelajaran membaca yang aku masuk kelas tapi tak paham sepatah haram (Engineering entrepreneurship).

serba salah betul aku.. waaaaa

about me

i don't really know myself, but, 'm gonna write something so that you know at least few bout me.

my details
name
Nur Syahidatul Anis Binti Nasarudin
D.O.B
July 18, 1990
born in
melaka, malaysia
now staying in
Seremban, Negeri Sembilan
father occupation
police (don't mess with him)
mum occupation
housewive
siblings
two, me n my younger brother.
hp operator
celcom (UPAX) :P
email
aleiys@yahoo.com
irma_clawthebest@yahoo.com

what i like:

• singing, dancing, violin,piano
• instrumental, calm music
• teasing
• alone
• listen to my mp3 or bunch of songs in my lappy or HP
• game
• chatting (skype @ YM)
• chocolate indulgence
• Tim Burton
• Johnny Depp
• Helena Bonham Carter
• sandwich tuna
• McD
• float A&W
• my mum food
• kucing

what i hate

• lipas...argghhhh
• bila disuruh make up.. tak reti!!!
• balas mesej yang bertalu2.. tension
• lecture yang boring..

facts about me

• i like to be alone. yes. bukan sebab apa.. because i'm moody. kalo tiba time nak jalan ngan kawan2 tu, memang akan pergi.. but takut tetiba tgh jalan tu, bosan, then i start wondering alone. takut org kecik hati plak
• saya cepat lupa.. so, it makes me a good listener. for example when you said, you hate that man. about a day, nnt i akan lupa apa yang dia cakap.. need time for me to memorize. so ur secret safe with me
• kalo tgh berdebat dengan seseorang, then tiba2 i diam. it doesn't mean i surrender or agree with what you said. but, it means that i da menyampah nak berdebat tentang sesuatu yang dah terang2 i betul, but u still nak tgkkan benang yang basah. so i keep quiet and biarkan anda sesat.. tak sakit hati.
• if i agree with what you sad, at least i will respon with the words " owh, ye ke?" at least k... ada gak perkataan lain..
  
• i can survive alone. means tak terlalu bergantung kat orang. kalo nak balik kampung tu, i don't mind alone. ada sestengah org dia akan cr kawan utk berteman. but i tak.. dangerouslah kan
• i'm a stalker.. ahahah.. kat virtual world je la.. in real, no way la nak buat macam tu
• i am so-not-a-friendly-person. i won't start a conversation with someone that i dont know. so sesiapa yang baru nak kenal tu, memang la dia kena mulakan, cr idea. i akan reply, sebab i tak la kejam sangat nak biarkan korang cakap sorang2.
• i am single. y? sebab memilih kot, ataupun dibayangi mereka2 yang dah lepas. i do like someone now... but like.. not love
• i am heartless. yes.. agree
• tak berperasaan.. buat lah kot mana pun, memang susah nak perasan apa yang org buat kat aku.. sindir ke, suka ke.. or in other word, blurr
• i am so professional in hiding my feeling.. if i sad, i wont show. hehehhe
• susah nak marah. but kalo da marah, i'll start with bebel for few minutes then membisu. when that person says sorry, waktu tu memang da tak marah dah.. i just need that sorry word. but kekadang not accepted gak
• i'm a dull.. eheh.. ni org cakap.. at first tak perasan, but then betul la.. latest i find out that my eyes didn't show my happiness. im happy, but my eyes didn't show it.. it's all in the picture.

ni je la yang terlintas nak tulis, lain tak tau nak tulis apa... itu je kot.. nnt2 la tambah lain..
till then daa~

pulang! pulang!

ye aku pulang ke rumah sudah... y? sebab banjir lorr... huh. tension aku.. actually aku avoid balik umah sebab rumah sekarang suda ada Mr. Streamyx... and keputusannya? aku online 24 hours..ahhha

in two weeks time final exam start lorrr..so, kalo da 24 hours dok mengadap lappy, apa buku yang aku bukak? jawapannya muka buku..

actually aku update blog nih sebab ada satu suara yang suruh update blog... suara dalam diri sendiri larr.. ahahaha... tapi maalahnya..memang tak de idea mula-mula... tetiba terlintas plak nak cerita mengapa aku balik nih..

macam yang tertaip tadi... banjir.. wang ulu tu antara tempat paling tinggi la kat area bintong tu... so bila air naik, kami macam kat tgh laut.. dekat pulau.. terputus segala hubungan ke luar.. jadi, dinasihatkan supaya balik.. sebab dorang nak potong air.

mula2, ingat tak mau balik, sebab aku rasa cam bley survive tanpa air.. tapi bila dia cakap nak cut off electricity, trus aku "argghh damn." serba salah tol nak tingalkan wang ulu.. sebab aku takut aku ak study final nih...

aku masuk bilik tgk rumate aku nak balik.. aku bley lepak 1/2 jam tetiba sampai seru "ko kena balik". terus aku masuk kan buku fluid, math n nota thermo dalam beg. amik baju beberapa helai, masukkan makeup n charger dalam beg, laptop suma. 1/2 an hour kot aku siap, trus aku kuar umah. sempat aku kejar rumate aku. ahahh. berapa lama dia tunggu kat depan tu.. sementara tunggu trak nk angkut kami keluar dr wang ulu, ada pengumuman cakap, unimap ada provide bas pergi ke alor star and butterworth. well memang unimap dah sediakan dr tgh hari pun ke alor star and butterworth.. tapi petang tu, dia tambah lagi bas.n kali ni destinationnya ke KL. ahahh.. free with no charge.. seronokkan?

menggigil-gigil aku naik trak tu... adoi... n waktu kami keluar ke jalan dewpan, air paras peha.. kesian sorang pakcik tu... sedih aku tgk.. kereta pun terapung2 atas air.. huhuh.. adoi...

lama gak lah perjalanan ke kuala perlis seksa tol atas trak tu. sampai je KP, trus kuar duit, gi makan then dalam pukul 7 dapat naik bas pertama ke KL... alhamdulillah. gila laju lah bas tu.. tapi sampai pukul 4 gak. geram tol aku. sabar je la...

so, sampai je, tunggu la kat KL sentral sampai pukul 6.15, naik komuter. ni lagi satu yang aku tak paham ni.. aku nai kat Kl sentral seingat aku, aku naik koc wanita. sebabkan tak lena tido dalam basm aku tido dalam train. n bila aku sedar, kat bangi kot, sebelah aku lelaki. ak tak paham betulla. awat la manusia sekarang tak paham bahasa? kot la tersalah naik koc, pi la tukar koc lain.. yang bestnya.. lelaki duduk, pompuan yang deserve tempat tu diri. geram aku..

mungkin ke dia terlupa dia da tukar jantina pi jadi lelaki? tak tau la.. aku memang mengantuk gila. sedar sekali lagi kat nilai, tido, then sedar2 da sampai seremban.. ehhehe

itu la perjalanan hidup ak dr wang ulu- kuala perlis- KL- seremban..

balik umah ni, sempat la en awah bawak pi makan aiskrim kat ice room.. sedap, n berbaloila harga.. thanks en ayah.. huhuhu

ps://candak sangat susah. lenggok dia sangat mencabar. tetiba dump.

kami dan skype.

kami dan skype memang tidak boleh dipisahkan. kami ialah Biosystems Engineering 2nd year 2010 students. heheh.. skype umpama jantung komunikasi kami..wah tak ley blah kan ayat. huhuhu..

kami boleh dikatakan skype addicted. well... at least them.. i'm not really... latest i ask my friend to check my contact. ada 78... most of them are my classmates, few of them are uni-mates and least of them are my friend not from the U.

well, ke'akrab'an kami dengan skype telah mewujudkan beberapa habit dan istilah yang tidak boleh dijauhkan... here is a few of the term and habit.

1. "ko buat karangan eh?"


pensil warna kuning tu indicate yang org tu sedang menulis. kebiasaannye, line unimap ni memang sangat lambat, jadi walaupun kita dah habis tulis, pensil tu still bergerak. kekadang lama gila.. so... kami akan cakap, "ko tulis apa ni weh? panjang gila kot.. dr tadi tak berenti menulis, ko wat karangan eh?" tapi kekadang memang panjang pun.. tambah2 coference hall Biosis. tulis announcement. huhuhu

2. perang emoticonperang emoticon berlaku apabila kami habis kelas. bosan n mungkin jugak disebabkan tekanan dengan otak yang tepu menerima input Fluid mechanics, jadi, wujudlah perang emoticon macam ni.. well, gambar ni sikit je.. kalo tiba time kegilaan emoticon, sepenuh2 wall tu dengan emoticon... tension tol. so, cara terbaiknye, scroll sampai jumpa apa2 perkataan.. tetapi malangnye, akan jumpa perkataan " curut", then emoticon smoking.

3. file sharing
as a student, skype is a medium of files sharing. ye lah.. kebiasaannye, lecturer kami ambil langkah berjaga untuk tak sumat bebanyak pendrives dalam laptop beliau. nak upload dalam portal, alamatnye, sampai bila2 la kami tak download. at least me la... i won' download from portal, unless if it is really2 important. so, skype helps me. normally, classmates kami (chinese) akan ambil notes, then akan kongsi dengan kami pulak. via skype larr.. heheeh 1 malaysia kan? huhu..

file sharing ni tak terhad kepada lecture note je tau... kekadang, kami kongsi report, movie, lagu...hehehhe..

4. copy paste
ni lagi satu.. pantang nampak org salah type, mesti nak copy balik... haishhh.. sabar je lah..huhuhu..pastu jadi bahan lah selama beberapa minit... fun, tapi kekadang menyakitkan hati.. kalo aku yang kena normally aku akan cakap " ye, aku buat salah.. at least mengaku"..heheh

5. edit messagebagi mengelakkan copy paste, kami akan edit balik yang salah tu cepat2. nampak tak tanda kecik kat 2nd last mesej? itu indicate yang mesej tu telah diedit.

copy paste ni kebiasaannye yang buat tak ramai... tapi yang paling rajin cr kesempatan ialah si alepto, sumandak, biru violetku and kekadang, aku. hehehe.. no offence here.. it's for fun..

skype ni selain komunikasi, it's an entertainment gak. so, kalu nak block skype, aku rasa tak perlu kot.. semua entertanment pun da block, at least let us have some aside from FB and social websites. tak semua org pun suka bukak social websites as terlampau lama nak loading, so skype lah pengubat lara... heheheh..

i think, that's it kot.. lama aku pendam nak menaip pasal skype nih.. tercapai jugak.. hehehe...
sorry la pada sape yang terasa... gurau2 je noo~ huhuhu

kami dan skype.

alone

owh, lately macam nak mengasingkan diri. well actually, dah memang terasing pun.. not people mengasingkan me, but i myself yang mengasingkan diri.. from the first time masuk unimap pun. i thot people never notice, but ada je yang notice rupanya..

antara gelaran yang diberikan ialah lone ranger. owh. memang those yang bintang Cancer suka mengasingkan diri ke ek? i don't think so... my friend pun Cancer gak. but she is damn friendly. sampai bila tgk dia terover friendly tu, kita pulak yang malu.

huhu.. ntah lah, but, i feel like easy alone. tak sakit hati, n tak lah tmbul perkara2 yang menyakitkan hati orang.

and someone said i'm dull. owh, tak notice plak yang tu... but if people said i am a quiet one,maybe bole terima... to certain people je lah... once you get to know me, memang haruk la jadinye..huhuhu

in three weeks time da start final..scary gila... i have to improve my pointer... tak la teruk mana, but kalo down sem ni,memang la teruk.. owh fluid, be nice to me ok???

no idea nak update, but, once i edit a pic, i'll make a credit to someone who able to make me laugh..heheheh..

love regards;
isya

ada orang..

aku tak paham kenapa wujudnye orang macam si nad ni. dia ni sengal! tak paham tol aku.

pic credit to fyqa
da macam burung kakak tua da aku tengok..

kesengalan dia ni, tahap gaban ah... tiap kali jumpa dia ni, mesti topik serius jadi sengal. and mesti nak gelak kalo bercakap nan dia nih. geram tol aku..

alkisah aku nak cerita pasal dia ni, sebab dia telah buat aku tersedak sampai nak termuntah tadi. haish~

aku:
nad, ko kalo gi kangar, nnt belikan aku skarf eh..
nad:
beli la satu
aku:
ko belikan la kalo ko gi
nad:
asal plak?
aku:
sebab aku malas nak berjalan
nad:
takpe... nanti aku belikan ko tudung satu. tudung yang tak yah pakai skarf...((senyap))... tudung saji

and aku terus tahan air yang aku minum tu dalam mulut... sampai lah aku tersedak! grrr... nak termuntah aku... heh..

n, kemudian dia melalut ckp kalo tak nak tudung saji, dia nak bagi terendak... apontah? tak tahu aku..so aku google search n jumpa ni..
n masa aku nak google benda ni pun ada la isu2 yang aku debat about penggunaan perkataan terendak.. sampai ayat yang keluar dr mulut dia ni ialah:

"ko tak nampak ni apa? ni apa ni? KUBAH MASJID????"

haish..sengal lah ko ni nad... aku tak tahan asek nak gelak je hari ni..... pape pun, aku syukur arr dapat kawan cam ko. tempat aku meluahkan perasaan n sebagainye... terima kasih bebanyak ye nad.. jangan kembang lak...susah nak beli baju lain..hehehe

seriously...

am i gaining weight? again?

well, i da patahkan kerusi roda makmal yesterday. and i don't know what really happened to me. segala benda pun tak sihat. benci!

i think my dad cakap betul. my lung week. keep coughing. even doing the simple things like playing basketball. penat then batuk. takut. but doktor ckp tak de pape.

and i keep shivering at night. why? because i think i demam. but when i wake up early in the morning, i don't. hard for me to go to the clinics, because i think that the doctor will said i'm making a story. sebab tak nak gi kelas. huh. benci betul. so tak payah.

please recover soon. i need my life for now.. :(

i need a dietrician!!! (anggap je la betul my ejaan tu)

finally i got something appears in my mind to update my blog. again, about me.

hurmm.. and sebab menang 2nd place for festkapp ri tu, so i got wakil perempuan for Irama Malaysia. doubt betul nak tulis benda nih... ye la tulis something about my Universiti plan kan. heh.

but, something bothering me so much. my voice, or to be exact my throat. tak tau la asal. sejak dr balik raya hari tu, rasa macam berlendir la tekak nih. batuk, yes. kahak? no. it's not kahak, but cam something uncomfortable inside there. kumbang kot?? ((oops))

and last few weeks (kot), i call kucai. and he reminds me something which makes me really pissed of me. grrrr...

"alah, ko dari kita form 5 pun, dr lepas abis spm pun ko cakap nak kurus. tak kurus2 gak"

hish. menusuk kalbu betul ayat dia. ok, now, my weight is 85kg(duh, naik balik). and i said to him, i'll try my best utk turunkan until 60. means 25 kilo in 2 month. boleh ke eh? huh! scary nye bila fikirkan angka tuh. 25. of yes.. i make a promise with him masa 12/10/10. it's already a week. n i think, tak turun pun my weight. peliklah.. masa raya ri tu, i manage turun kan 5 kg in a week. from 90 kg to 85kg. tak buat apa pun. tapi sekarang, punyalah kawal pemakanan, still tak turun gak. ke, penimbang tu yang rosak??

k, kalo ikut perancangan, i kena turunkan 25 kg before 12/12/10... i think, i should make it fast.. arggghhhh!!!! tension tol diet nih!

so, here what i should do for now.

for my voice:
~no more ice
~no more oily food
~air suam.
~air mineral.
(sape nak tambah?)

for my diet program:
~less rice
~less bread
~sarapan oat
~no chicken, less beef, more fish
~more vegetables
~more fruit
~exercise frequently (thanks to those yang rqajin ajak main bola petang2, i turun riadah sekarang..cam tak caya je)
~more mineral water(i think, my skin pun macam kering je now nih)
(sape nak tambah?)

huh. support me people.. heheheh

lelaki itu

jangan dikacau lagi

jangan diganggu lagi

jangan meluah perasaan kepadanya lagi

jangan kisah

or in other word...

"JANGAN DEKATI DIA LAGI"

ps: i'm stalker daa

fakta atau menyedapkan hati?

1/2 hour ago, me , fyqa and sinar kami pi makan tgh hari bukan tengah hari. so, me and fyqa makan nasi campur while sinar makan nasi ayam.

dengan penuh berselera kami pun makan. tanpa sebarang keraguan. and biasa la bila da makan ramai2, masing2 saling mencuit sikit2 makanan org lain. rasa sikit sup nasi ayam si Sinar.

and tak sampai beberapa minit kemudian, cik Sinar pun membuat reaksi yang tak dapat digambarkan disini.

sinar: eeeeeeeeee.....
fyqa: asal?
sinar: aku nak muntah.
fyqa: nape pulak?

aku buat selamba je la... macam biasa la.. bila makan nasi ayam, akan jumpa la ayam2 yang tak enough masak. i thought that. but then bila dia tunjuk sup yang tadi kami makan...

sinar: tgk ni (sup ada lalat 2 ekor dalam tu.. and da terbenam)
aku : owh..ok

speechless jap.

aku: baru masuk kot
fyqa: haah, tadi masa makan tadi tak nampak pun
sinar: eee, tak nak lah...

puaslah kami menyakinkan si sinar bout apa yang kami cakap; lalat tu baru masu, bukan dari awal dia dapat tadi.

point nye disini, masa aku ckp tu pun, aku tak yakin sure ke lalat tu tak de masa kami makan tadi. so, yan kami cakap tu, fakta ke atau sekadar menyedapkan hati?

everytime i said i wanna forget you, and that time, you'll be near me.

it hurts me a lot.

i know i don't love you

but it still hurt me when i wish to forget you, but you always be near me



ps:// tak pasal2 digelar emo oleh Nasir Ali.. between happy birthday Nasir n Mimi.

memorable..eheh

hoh. baru dapat update. grr... internet wang ulu ni memang ada problem sket. susah nak update blog.. normally aku akan bawak lappy ke dragon then update kat sana.

okay ni nak bercerita tentang show baru ni. okay.. it's for reunion for OPS Pasir 2010. stress? yes. everyone stress. a least fo those who i know. show infront of DYTM Raja Muda Perlis and DYTM Raja Puan Muda Perlis.

owh well. masa zaman kegemilangan main violin dulu, kami dok enjoy main violin depan TYT melaka. i perform thrice i guess. da lupa da.. but depan TYT takde main sembah2. so, much easier la for me.. besides i'm a violnist dat time, so, dduk je tak yah bangun2..heheh

ok back to the story. 11 o'clock something En Mi call saya asking if i can sing Nirmala. gosh. tak mo aku. i love that song, tapi for dancing je la.. singing scary kot. so then i said to him tak mo ah. then ada la mesej2 lain until my creadit habis, so then dia call tanya bout my CD minus 1. ada tak? then i said everything ada. then i tanya dia dr wang ulu nak tunggu pukul berapa? then he said 6pm. separu menggelabah kot. ye la, kelas ada sampai pukul 5. must be balik sampai wang ulu about 5.30. so then, i said maybe i lambat sket.

lepas balik dr kelas ((tak bley tuang sebab kena buat presentation)), so trus siap2. amik baju masuk dalam bag, then call syauqi. because from my info, bas gerak dr smpg 4-kg wai-wang ulu-timah tasoh. then, syauqi ckp, bas tak sampai pun kg wai lagi.

then, en mi anta mesej bas br gerak dr smpg 4. at that time pukul 6.. so i bajet.. bout half an hour sampai kg wai, then another 1/2 an hour sampai wang ulu. so i trn pukul 6.30. bajet i have to wait for another 1/2 hour lah kan.. and tunggu-tunggu-tunggu, bas tak sampai. thanks to shila sebab sudi jadi my pendengar yang setia for 10'. apa2 pekataanaku tu, simpan2 je la eh. tak de niat pun ak jadi cmtu.. bukannye bagus sangat pun

so then, dipendekkan cerita, bas sampai pukul 8.15 ok. event start pukul 9 dalam jadual. grrr... dengan baju suma tak tukar. so masuk bas, maybe terbuat muka kot. actually marah kejap je. bas sampai, trus hilang marah. lega. tapi bila masuk bas tgk jam da pukul berapa, waktu tu memang mood hilang ah. geram je. sebab da selalu kena kan. dr sekolah lagi, mesti ada show yang kena potong kalu da lambat..sabar je la.

and da dekat2 sampai tu, tatau sape call, ckp suruh cepat. and at that time tak tukar baju lagi.rushing gila..sian kat MC berdua

and sampai, makeup sikit2, then tunggu je.. and tetiba dipanggil keluar mengadap tuanku dulu. (ps://dato vc tak kenal saya)) ahahah.. and then lepas da salam both of them, duduk dalam tunggu nak start show. mula2 diberitahu dua lagu sahaja. so 1st song: dirgahayu tanah airku. ok, key original kot. masa suara ok ri tu, sampai je my voice. sebab suara tak elok, so banyak cover guna saprano. huh. bisikan hati pulak terlampau lah rendah. habis suma low note. but ok la.. dapat bunga... ada org bagi masa tengah2 nyanyi.. heheheh

habis perform ok. da nak siap gi makan, tetiba dapat tahu kena tambah lagu lagi bagi slot persembahan jadi panjang. so, i decide utk bawak lagu "Fly Me To The Moon" ((owh, i love jazz)).

and ada duet ngan syauqi lagu biarlah rahsia. actually semalam tu da perform da lagu tu. so, kira semalam tu macam sesi latihan la.. ahahah. and it goes ok la.. melampau2 sangat nyanyi sampai 4 lagu kan. over sangat.. ahaha..

and it goes really well.. better than the song yang sepatutnye kena bawak. huhu.. and last song kena nyanyi ramai2 lagu suasana hari raya. then amk gambar sama2..wah... terharu nya.. and waktu salam2 semua org tu, i dapat ucapan tahniah from all of them. and DYTM Raja Puan Muda puji "sedapnya suara". all i can do is smiling and say "terima kasih" and another two guest pun puji benda yang sama. lupa diri jap... ahahah.

makanan sangat sedap.. malangnye, dok makan hati tunggu bas tadi, da menyebabkan perut full. dapat makan sikit je. amik sikit2 kek, triffle, and pudding. just nak merasa je.. hehehe.

owh.. iwon't forget that day.. penghargaan kot.. dapat bunga time nyanyi, and dipuji oleh DYTM Raja Puan Muda and tetamu2 yang hadir. walaupun i think i didn't give my best for the first 2 song. tak pe la.. pengalaman..

that's all kot. hee~

ps://(tak berkaitan dengan yang atas ye) i don't know what i've done until u said u didnt feel comfortable for who i am. maybe i should get away from you. yeah i should. so please don't come near at this time

i know where i stand

someone tujukan lagu ni kat i yesterday

LUCKY-Britney Spears
This is the story about a girl named Lucky.

Early morning
She wakes up
Knock, knock, knock on the door

It's time for makeup
Perfect smile
It's you they're all waiting for

Isn't she lovely
This Hollywood girl

And they say..
She's so Lucky
She's a star
But she cry cry cries in her lonely heart
Thinking, if there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?

Lost in an image, in a dream
But there's no one there to wake her up
And the world is spinning and she keeps on winning
But tell me, what happens when it stops

Baby

Isn't she lovely?
This Hollywood girl

And they say..
She's so lucky
She's a star
But she cry cry cries in her lonely heart
Thinking, if there's nothign missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?

Isn't she lovely?
This Hollywood girl

She's soo lucky
But why does she cry?
If there is nothing missing in her life
Why do tears come at night?

And they say..
She's so lucky,
She's a star
But she cry cry cries in her lonely heart
Thinking, if there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?

She's so lucky.
But she cry cry cries in her lonely heart
Thinking, if there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?

i don't cry, and i always know what now will not last. and i'm not a star. but he keep saying "perlambangan la yunk oiii"

so i reply him this:

BREAKAWAY-Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes ?til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean

Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away
And breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

and this:

NEVER TOO FAR- Mariah Carey

You're with me
Til the bitter end
What we had transcends
This experience
Too painful to
Talk about
So I'll hold it in
Til my heart can mend
And be brave enough to love again

A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace

Never too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I'll keep you close to me
When I remember

Glittering lights
Incandescent eyes
Still preserved
In my mind
In the memories I'll find solace

Never too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
And I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I'll keep you close to me
And I'll remember

A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace

Never too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
And though we can never be
I'll always think of you and me
Always remember

Love

You're never too far

((1st song tu not really mean anything accept for that italic and bold line. 2nd song tu seriously untuk kamu. ))

ps buat kamu:

1-i'm not at the top of the world
2-i'm not the hot stuff in my place or in another word, i'm not a star.
3-i always know where is my origin
4-i'm not changing and will never change
5-even if you say last night i da berada di atas, but i don't feel so. i always look down and ianya tak gayat pun. means, bukan la tinggi mana.
6-i know where i stand. don't worry
7-tolong jangan suruh aku nyanyi lagu ni. susah kot.. huhu

ps:// he's my bestfriend k. bukannye my special. i'm single lagi...huhuh

beautiful

when i talk about beauty, i'll cry.

y? is it because of the low self esteem or because of fact?

eventually, the fact has cause me to have this low self esteem. i'm hurt, everytime they talk about beauty.

yes, i have to agree with them, i'm not that beautiful until everyone will turn their head just to see me. i accept that fact. long time ago.

i just hate to heard the word "wahhh, isya,cntiknya" or "cantik sangat.." or what so ever related to that word. it's fake! it's a lie. i know who am i. if you try to entertain people, please don't tell lie. it hurts!

i'm not hoping to be like the duck in "ugly duckling" story. but i just hope that i'll be having the same fun when they talk about being beauty.

yes i know, we just can't change the fact. it's a fact and i know i can't change. this is me. and i should accept it. nevermind. i'm not beautiful, but thanks to Allah, for creating me without any physical disabilty

ps:// actually, i think twice to write about this. people will know my weakness. but i think i should. so that people will know that i'm not hurt if you tell me that i'm ugly.

update FESTKAPP4 (n the winner is...)

yeah~ semalam habis sudah festkapp. majlis penutup yang gempak tu diserikan dengan wayang kulit bersama dengan tiga orang pengacara majlis yang versatile.

as usual, beginning memang gila best,tak boring, but the performance start dr nyanyian solo, ntah nape macam less energy.. but, that guy yang menang irama malaysia tu, you memang deserve to win la... last night persembahan you a little bit hambar sket but malam pertandingan tu you're damn good.. huhuhu..maybe sebab cuak nak dapat keputusan.

between, congrats to all winners. semoga dengan kehadiran festkapp nih, festkum nanti akan dapat dijayakan dengan jayanya.. n maybe we can get more gold then last year? hope so..

so here are the winners:

Sayembara puisi
third: Sistem Elektrik
second: Komputer dan Perhubungan
first: Pembuatan

Nyanyian Patriotik
third: PPIPT
second: Bioproses
first: Mekatronik

Nyanyian Irama Malaysia
third: Mekatronik
second: Bioproses
first: PPIPT
persembahan terbaik: Mekatronik
kostum terbaik: Alam sekitar

Tarian
third: mikroelektronik
second: PPIPT
first: Bioproses

Permainan Tradisional
third: ((Sorry tak sempat dengar semalam))
second: Bioproses
first: Mekatronik

Band
third: PPIPT
second: Mikroelektronik
first: Mekatronik

and.. yes, i got placing for irama malaysia. 2nd place. masa dorang announce 3rd place goes to mekatronik, i da macam "ok, i'm not gonna win". that guy hebat kot.. nyanyi lagu zapin budi. then, when they announce 2nd place, i expect mungkin akan dapat kat mikro-e. dia bawak lagu nirmala. entertain that night. but then bila dia announce "kumpulan Bioseni", i was like "what???"... siyes, tak expect pun... huhuhu....

cerita disebalik nyanyian wakil biopro:
-me and rozell tak sempat practice ngan mentor. we are damn busy ngan test, class and bla bla. memang tak boley curi masa la.
- dealing ngan mentor hanya untuk dapatkan minus 1 and costume for competition
- practice sesama kami sahaja
- masa malam saringan, rozell out of tune or in her words,"keluar suara ayam". and she down for half day.. 12 am to 12 pm. until i said to her, she got for final. maybe pengadil consider sebab dia guna key asal. and semua high note dia sampai, sampai la last she...erkkk
-malam final kami mintak tukar key. she went down for two key while me mintak naik satu key. and we didn't pactice guna that key. terus nyanyi for pertandingan.
-penutup malam rozell has to perform, but, dia sakit mata so, tak perform
-alhamdulillah, both of us dapat 2nd place...

that's all.. ngeh3..

as requested by kak atie, video saringan n final

ni masa saringan... see how slow is that music? ngeh3...

ok, ni final.. i requested naikkan satu key.

hahaha.. buruk gila my voice..erggghh

ps://actually, she didn't requested it, but, i wanna show her. ngeee~

masih ada kah?

masa aku kecik2 dulu, selalu baca buku cerita tentang budak yang jumpa wallet tepi jalan. lepas tu, dia bawak pergi balai polis pulangkan. bila tuan punya wallet dapat wallet tu balik, tuan punya wallet pun bagi la sikit duit sebagai penghargaan kepada kejujuran budak tersebut.

banyak cerita2 camni. cerita dia sebenarnya lebih kurang sama je.. just watak utam ditukar-tukar nama. amin, abu, timah, aminah, ali antara nama2 favourite. cerita ni moral of the stories dia ialah kejujuran. masa aku kecik2, aku da start ar practice kalu jumpa barang orang jangan amik. kesian kat tuan punya barang.

nak tau kenapa aku cerita pasal ni?

cerita dia macam ni. baru baru ni, pergi makan petang(dinner la..sekqarang dinner kol 6.. lepas dari tu tak de makan da) with my friend. and i tak keluar duit lagi dengan duit dalam wallet ada RM 1 je.. tak suka simpan banyak2 dalam wallet... tu sebab guna kreadit card... ahahah..poyo gila aku ni.. tak de pun.. jokes je. tapi siyes, dalam wallet aku jarang ada lebih dr Rm 30. kalo aku bawak banyak pun aku selit la kat poket selar ke, beg ke, or tempat2 tersorok lain.*tolong la jangan pikir kotor*

aku da merapu ni. continue balik. jadi, cik kawan nih telah meminjam duit dia dengan mengeluarkan dr poket beliau,

aku: hang memang tak suka letak duit dalam wallet ke pyqa?
cik kawan: bukan, ni duit lebih, biasa aku kalau duit yang lebih2 or ada orang kasi bayar hutang, aku letak dalam poket laa. malas nak masuk dalam wallet. *hahah..aku la yang berhutang ngan beliau.. kirim McD ri tu*
aku: ooo.. ok.. ni jap lagi aku da kuar duit aku bayar balik tau.. malas ar nak beratur panjang.
cik kawan: ok...
aku: so kau tak bawak wallet ke nih?
cik kawan: tak... pagi tadi aku bawak, petang aku tak bawak ah

ngeh3... nak dijadikan cerita, selepas makan, kami pun jalan balik hostel dr cafe tu.. rumah cik kawan ni depan umah aku. about 5 min lepas kami masuk umah masing2, suddenly....

"ISYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! wallet aku hilang..."

maghrib kot... tetiba kena jerit cam tu... terkejut aku. aku memang cam heartless sikit.. aku tak tau nak bagi reaksi apa. tapi cam simpati arr kan.. obviously...

aku: ko letak mana sebenarnya?
cik kawan: aku bawak tadi. aku ingat.. aku letak dalam beg
*duh, tadi kata tak bawak*
aku: ko da check betul2 ke?
cik kawan: da.. da selongkar semua da..
aku: *blurrr*

dengan dia merewang2, aku lak main la laptop... siyes aku memang tak tau nak kasi reaksi apa. tapi secara senyap2, aku telah selongkar balik beg dia... takut dia terlepas pandang.. and yes memang tak de..

just aku da cam dapat agak arr... kalu jumpa balik pun, memang tak dapat da duit.. she said dalam tu ada RM 50. and seingat aku pun, masa dia kuarkan duit dari wallet dia pada pagi kejadian, memang ada nampak RM 50.

so, malam tu aku cakap la kat dia suruh dia buat report polis... bukan apa.. takut la kot org wat dajal kat dia kan..campak ic dia kat crime scene ke. naya je jadi suspek. *berkata sebagai anak kepada seorang pegawai polis*

n esok pagi nye, selepas habis lab, she got a call from jabatan keselamatan. yes, someone found it. so nak amik wallet beliau, pakcik dr jabatan keselamatan sanggup pergi jumpa kami kat dragon, utk pulangkan wallet beliau..*tqvm pakcik*

and guess what.. suma duit dalam wallet dia suma dah hilang.. tinggal kad2 sahaja. len suma goodbye suda. but my friend she glad.. sebab kad2 dia suma tak hilang. suma ada. kalu aku pun aku syukur juga.. at least kad2 tu selamat. duit boley cr lain.

apa maksud aku dengan title kali ni? masih ada ke orang2 seperti amin, abu, timah, aminah, ali dalam cerita yang bermoralkan kejujuran tadi? memang menolong tapi, ada je kesempatan, amik duit orang... tak takut ke daging2 dalam badan anda tu jadi hitam sebab makan duit haram? nauzubillah..

mati bila2 masa je... so, fikir2 lah...

kepada cik kawan..sabaq naa...

ps:// setting cerita ini adalah di sekitar kampus berterabur UNIMAP... nape aku rasa pelik sebut perkataan berterabur tu eh? cik kawan rasa, wallet dia hilang di automart kuala perlis, but org yang jumpanya kata jumpa kat Kubang Gajah. possibility nye, wallet tu cicir dalam bas, n budak tu naik bas bawak gi kubang gajah, pulangkan kat pak guard. OR, memang cicir kat automart, and budak tu bawak balik dulu, pastu bawak gi kubang gajah..eheheh.. ntah... owh ye..setting masa ialah antara hari rabu dan khamis yang lepas. ngee..panjang la plak aku tulis..huhu

update festkapp 4

yes, i'm going final. with my classmate. she represents bioprocess for patriotic song.

gonna be a short post because actually i didn't have mood to update much. because i really don't have mood for final competition actually. still i try my best.

alhamdulillah, it's going well, but when i heard the recording, i hate to listen to my voice. don't know why but it seems changing into big. ahahah... i don't know why, maybe because of the low key. all the low note seems to be not clear after all.. my pronounciation, i felt worst.

but at the end, our VIP named few of us which he wants us to perform later. but still, i don't want to give any hope. i don't think i'm gonna win... but, nak pergi tgk penutup nanti... later i'm gonna post all the winner k..

till then daaa

ps:// video terbalik...nnt i letak, but you guys kena tgk ngan kepala teleng larr

update FESTKAPP3

maybe the last one from me about festkap.. if i update more about this, maybe just a review on the winner.. i got no confident if i ever manage to went for final. hurt? yes, but i really really think that i don't deserve it. so, no hurt there.

we went 7th in sequence for the contestants.7th from 9 group. so, i didn't listen other people singing because i ask to make it fast. so we go 2nd. it's fine for me. but not my friend for patriotik.

the first girl from microelectronic is good. i said good, because i feel sometimes her voice is out of key. during the verse part. but during the chorus part is good. so i think she'll go for final. then, the one after us, a boy. my friend from nasyid. GOSH! he is damn good with zapin budi song. so, i think he'll go for final too.

i never hope fo final since i got the minus 1. i don't feel comfortable with it. but that is the only song that i can remember well and i think i'm much better in keroncong. so i decided to take that song. i don't care about winning or losing. it's just a gaining experience. winning is just an advantage.

they said, if got for final, they'll send a message. so, may i shut my phone for a day? huhuhu

to kak ati. thanks for the voice technics, the 'lenggok', and what-so-last-minute-wash up-practice in the phone.. huhuhu..have try to follow what you've teach but some i didn't get it so it back to normal ...ngeh3 have try to do my best. but, i don't think winning is with me now...

i've told that before..hahahah

update FESTKAPP2

me>>> nyanyian lagu Irama Malaysia

>>> Bisikan Hati

seriously, i don't have any problem singing keroncong asli.. da biasa bawak lagu bengawan solo, sapu tangan, guna musik yang asli. but this time, i really thought bisikan hati, akan dapat lagu yang sort of moden sikit. yang macam siti bawak la i mean.

but suddenly, bila dapat minus 1, lagu dia sangat2 la lembab. hahaha.. tekanan suda aku dengar lagu tu.

lambat satu hal. lenggok dia pun aku rasa jadi pelik, sebab kalo lagu tu laju, tak perlu nak b uat lenggok panjang2 n vibrato pun tak yah nak obvious sangat.. hehehe.

so, i don't hope to go for final. sebab, i'm sure i'm not gonna go for it.. kalo dapat pun, maybe nasib je..

pray 4 me people~

not really in a good mood

yes i am. so please stay away especially my roomate and my housemate... i'm afraid i'm going to burst out for something very silly. well actually i have. once i'm back into my feet, i'll stat talking like before

don't try to make me hate you or what so ever you do. because once i start hating people, it's hard for me to like them back, so.... don't start, unless u want so

someone has talk something bad even infront of me to my friend.. you know what? i just won't forgive you. i won't seek for any revenge but, if you get over the limit, you'll find out what i can do. beware~

ps:// that one is the main cause why i'm n the bad mood. there're others but... i don't think it's necessary for me to tell.

update FESTKAPP1

FestKAPP atau nama panjang nye ialah festival kebudayaan antara PPK. ye la kot... yang penting berkaitan budaya laa.. so al kisah nye... aku diberi tugas untuk cr people for nyanyian solo.. seperti yang diberitahu dalam entry yang lepas.

sebabkan orang tak de, jadi aku amik IRAMA MALAYSIA and kena cr seorg non bumi for patriotik.. jadi, dipendekkan cerita, dapat, but tak dengar penuh lagi suara dia.. hope tak de masalah sangat lah..

ok, ceritanya ialah.. En wan tak bagi aku msk solo,but dia allowed aku join band. En Wan ni macam pegawai kami la.. memang pegawai pun. dia la yang urus kalo ada apa2 pertandingan... hurm.. and reason dia tak bagi masuk tu sebab dia kata, kalu aku masuk confirm menang and orang lain tak de peluang dah

Astaghfirullah... sabar je la...

suara saya tak la sedap mana pun... saya percaya ramai lagi suara yang sedap kat unimap nih...*ayat skema gila*

truly from heart nih... tak yakin pun akan menang untuk festkapp... masuk final pun tak sure

"kalu tak sure kenapa masuk jugak?" mungkin ada la beberapa org yang bertanya begitu.
jawapan saya ialah: sebab saya nak join.. menang kalah lain cerita.. yang penting, saya enjoy apa yang saya nak buat. kan.

trust me... bukan sebab merendah diri@humble@ what-so-ever, but suara saya bukan lah saingan.. akan ada pemenang yang lain dr yang semua org jangka.. so no worries k..

to bioprocess: pray 4 me.. i'll try my best..

sikit pun tak terasa kalu kalah... ahahah

okay student....

"example 8-6 explain about head loss" ujar pn Lecturer yang cuba mengawal speed mengajar fluid.

lalu aku pun membuka buku fluid yang tebal gedabak + berat + sangat tak berbaloi kalu dapat F. selak2 muka surat.. focus for about 5 mins then..

"urgghhh...main handphone lagi bagus" ((sorry miss if you read this))

it's not her mistakes actually, really... tapi ntah..maybe sebab otak ku bukan lagi otak BIO yang senang nak baca buku ilmiah ,macam baca novel. dulu boleh je.. ingat lagi, masa sekolah menengah. esok nak exam, aku bley baca buku geografi, sains, sejarah form1, form2,form3 macam baca novel.. dalam satu malam boley habis baca. siap boleh bercerita balik..

tapi la ni? huh! macam hape je.

and, entahlah. setiap kali masuk kelas fluid, mesti ak jadi blurr and lost. aku tak tau where's the mistakes and apa masalah aku. mungkin kena tak bawak handphone gi kelas.. tapi... ialah, hidup org yang memang kena berkepit ngan handphone 24/7... ingat lagi En Ayah yang memarahi anaknye iaitu aku kerana tak angkat handphone and off kan sebab tak de batery.. duhh~ geram~

or do i really make a mistakes for being into this area? mungkin ke dah tersilap pilih future? hahah.. i decide my future from now..salah ke tak salah.. betulkan jugak!

and here we go again...FESTKAPP.. or in another word is festival kebudayaan antara PPK. bertindak sebagai AJK yang digalakkan join bawah PPK, i have to manage wakil ppk bioprses untuk nyanyian solo; Irama Malaysia and Patriotik. and here we go.. kena cr seorang bumiputera and one non bumi. duh... payah nye.... agak2 mau ke? jawapannye TAK DE! and kami ada seorg bumiputera sabah yang boleh menyanyi.. she's a mix.. chinese-kadazan... so, kia halal lah eh?

and kena jadi penasihat juga utk latihan nyanyian nnt... i mean for my ppk laa...hurmm.. semoga... function lah kefunctionan ku.. akan kugunakan segala ilmu yang da dapat utk ajar org nyanyi..huhu..

that's all kot.. ada video masa gi karaoke ri tu..tgk lah kalu rajin nak masukkan.. sebab ada sumbang seh sikit...huhu..

Chaiyok! Chaiyok Biopro! you can do it for festkapp..ngeh3

post untuk awak,awak,awak

awak...
saya mintak maaf kalau buat awak sedih,
tapi,
saya tak boleh hidup dalam imaginasi awak,
daya pemikiran awak yang tersangat tinggi tu menyebabkan hati saya terluka sangat,
saya tak boleh hidup dalam dunia yang tak wujud bagi saya,
dunia tu cuma wujud bagi awak je,
awak gembira,
saya terseksa,
walaupun satu perkara yang mulia utk mengembirakan hati org lain,
tapi saya tak boleh,
sebab saya tahu kalo saya hidup dalam dunia tu,
saya tipu diri sendiri,
jadi saya minta maaf,
saya tak boleh teruskan macam ni lagi

awak,
saya tak tahu apa saya dah buat,
tapi saya jadi tak selesa dengan awak.
awak mesej saya,
tapi bila saya balas,
awak diam,
saya tak tahu siapa sebenarnya yang berubah,
saya ke awak?
saya rasa saya masih yang dulu,
tapi mungkin awak rasa saya dah baru,
saya mintak maaf awak,
kalau awak berkecil hati dengan apa yang saya cakap,
tapi saya masih yang dulu,
saya sentiasa ingat dr mana saya datang,
jadi jangan la awak takut,
sebab saya memang sentiasa ingat awak.

awak,
saya tahu sejak kebelakangan ni saya pelik,
tapi, ayat awak menyakitkan saya,
saya sedih sampai saya tak ley berfikir apa yang patut saya lakukan hari tu,
saya bukan siapa2 untuk awak,
saya tahu.
tapi,
saya harap,
kita stay as friend,
sebab saya rasa,
kita memang kawan,
walaupun keadaan sekarang mungkin dah lain,
tapi saya tahu,
saya tak boleh paksa awak,
kalau awak memang tak suka saya,
saya akan jauhkan diri dari awak,
saya mintak maaf sebab buat awak susah hati,
tentang kenapa saya pelik sangat,
saya takkan harap pun awak utk faham.

~sekian~

ps://siapa baca betul2 dia akan faham~ hehehe

raya yang....

semua org pun update bout raya..hurmm~ nak update gak, but no serious event larr time raya ri tu... kami lebih kepada bergambar.. ntah lah.. mood kali ni lebih kepada bergambar je.. humm

raya first.. macam biasa, pagi raya pergi solat sunat hari raya kat surau IPD Seremban.. tema tahun ini..pink. tapi gambar dalam kamera mama, so, tak dapat nak diuploadkan disini... selepas salam2 n mintak maaf,((si kucing pun salam ayah juga..huhuhu)), kami rehat sekejap and balik ke kampung wan di selangor. hurm..

duit raya di sini agak banyak yer.. huhu.. wan bagi 10 bugs... every year pun macam tu.. dia memang bagi cucu2 yang besar2 ni nilai yang besar.. n pakcik sahak gave me RM50. the highest amount this year.. En Ayah bagi juga, RM 100,tapi dia bagi sebelum raya... so, that one tak consider as duit raya k.. itu dipanggil "duit belanja raya".ngeh3

my mum dia da mintak my uncle crkan tiket utk balik ke kuala kangsar @ ipoh @ taiping, tapi, tiket habis.. mana tak nye..cr tiket esok nak raya.. memang la da habis.. jadi, En Ayah decide utk hantar kami terus ke Kuala Kangsar.. heee~

"Ayah kena balik esok subuh tau. tak boleh lama.cuti tak de, kena present hari isnin, nnt tak sempat", dalam hati aku.. " haish..esok kena balik, maknanye lusa jugak lah balik tu" hahah... jahat tak? and kami sampai kuala kangsar about pukul 10.30pm.. dari Jeram, Kuala Selangor pukul 5.30pm kot..tak ingat..but area time cm tu ah.... and sampai2 je terus makan.. dorang buat BBQ... ada coleslaw lagi..eh, cmtu eh eja dia?

tido sangat lewat that time. kami tgk video kami menari masa family day ri tu.. ahahah..damn worst! jangan dibuat dah. by the next morning, bangun sangat lewat.. pn mama suda menjerit menggunakan high pic nye ((ahahaha, now i know dr mana i dapat saprano voice)), sampai my cousin ckp "mak chak punya suara, nyaring" huhuhu.. selepas siap2, kami pun mulakan sesi bergambar sesama cousin.. huhuhu... sangat best. n tak beraya mana pun..duk umah je.. ke Kuala pun idak, ke kedaipun tak.. dok ngadap lappy je..

ni ada 2 generation.. me and my cousins and our nieces and nephew.. my cousins children actually

me in yellow

raya third baru beraya jauh.. ke bagan serai n taiping.. bagan serai sebab rumah my cousin punya ehem2, n taiping rumah my cousin punya kawan punya kawan. ahahah.. no duit raya pun..but bergambar lagi.. heheh..

ni all my cousin... grey theme

me in orange.heee~

balik pun da dekat malam. kami dok enjoy sakan je la.. lepas solat, kuar pi Kuala kangsar plak.. pi amik gambar sana sini.. lemas tol pakai jubah.. ahaha... maybe sebab inner tu panas kot..hehehe... lepas ni cr yang kurang panas sket.. huhu...

balik ke seremban, tumpang my cousin sampai KL, then kami naik komuter ke seremban.. dalam komuter my adik buat hal pulaaa.... tak tahan nak tekucil.. so i said to my mum " mama gi seremban dulu, anis bawak adik gi buang air", and kami berhenti di Tiroi.. 1 more station utk sampai seremban.. tapi sebab si adik dah tak tahan sangat... so, pergi je laaa..

comeykan pose nih? ahahah..my brother punya idea tau.. his pose larr.. my pose tak..ngee~

sebabkan itu, kami terpaksa tunggu another 1 hour utk ke seremban. keretapi buat hal plak.. lambat gila..sampai en Ayah membebel2 dalam telefon marah saya.. adoi.. sabar je lah.. bukan niat saya nak berlama2 di tiroi ayah.. keretapi tu buat hal.. kalo lah tiroi tu ada midvalley or JJ or Isetan or Pavillion or anything related to it.. boley laa berniat nk lama2.. ni, tempat tu scary kot... ish...

da balik lagi bertambah boring laa.. tak jalan mana pun.. dengan tekak yang sakit.. memang dok pantang itu ini la jawabnye.. so then decide cr tiket awal.. dapat tiket jumaat ke perlis.. yay naik kereta api.. suka~ huhuhu

boringkan entry nih? tu sebab malas nak cerita.. pic masa kat kuala kangsar time malam2 tu tak dapat nk letak lah.. tetiba hilang plak.. dah hilang mood nih.. huhuhu.. ngee~

len masa lah saya letak k..daa~