I'm sorry

i'm sorry anis

because i didn't stand for you.. i keep down to my self. to someone who are unable to stand up and speak for you

i'm sorry anis

because i cause you a lot of trouble. if i strong enough, you won't just fall in love

i'm sorry anis

because i'm weak. which cause you to have a lot of hope even by simple words

i'm sorry anis

because i never try to be strong without love

i'm sorry anis

for every single things that has cause you hurt for what ever i want.

.............................................

and i just can say

"it's not ur fault wahai hati... it's my fault. because it's me who should control you. bukan kamu yang control saya. ikut kata hati. tak semua kata hati perlu saya turutkan."

and today,

wahai hati.. kuatkanlah dirimu, aku aku turut menjadi kuat. aku tak gagal, cuma aku baru bermula... maka dengan ini, biarlah engkau tinggal kosong tanpa perkara2 yang bisa menyeksakan hatimu, dan penuhkan dirimu wahai hati dengan ilmu dari segenap sudut. agar tiada ruang buat kekecewaan menumpang walau sekelumit di bahagian mu.

apa yang berlaku hari ni, jadikan semangat buat aku, yang bergelar wanita. aku mahu berjaya! itu yang aku mahu.. aku tak mahu perkara lain buat sementara waktu.

ps:// i actually think that allah is fullfill my doa once before.. i want one last love, and i want that love for a marriage... i think Allah really fullfill my doa.. so why should i be sad? i should be gratefull. shouldn't i? yes i should!