izinkan saya jadi stalker page awak

.tak kira la FB ke Blog ke.

.saya ak boley nak luahkan banyak2 walaupun pada kawan2 saya.

.sebab bila saya luahkan, tiba2 awak hampakan saya.

.saya takut.

.saya tak boleh nak berhadapan dengan perkataan kecewa.

.jadi, benarkan saya suka kat awak.

.walaupun awak tak tahu.

.walaupun awak tak kan tahu.

.tapi inilah yang ada dalam hati saya.


mood: singing cinta dalam hati..

ps:// i wish he knows what i feel, but at the same time, i wish he don't know.. (T.T)

for the first time

for the first time, i am sad doing what i really love to do.

22/11/10 - 4/12/10 : final exam
24/11/10 - 29/11/10 : imtgt (thailand, songkla)

see the date. it is clash. then dapat mesej suruh bagi kod matapelajaran for paper yang bertindih tuh. aku geram nih... aku rasa sedih, sebab aku terpaksa sacrifice time exam aku.

takut kot.. da la aku cam kambing je ngan subjek sem nih. n antara paper yang aku kena skip ialah math kejut, engineering entrepreneurship dengan, FLUID MECHANICS. shit tak?

da lah aku banyak kali skip test math utk program U. mdm suhana pun da kenal aku sebab selalu sangat skip test. tak la selalu... math ada 2 test je utk carry marks. tapi 2-2 test tu aku skip. yang first tu aku buat awal sebab nak gi terengganu for nasyid. yang 2nd test tu aku skip utk festkapp. skip satu hari..warggghhh tekanan aku..

aku suka main violin, tapi masalahnya kepala aku berserabut dengan dua killer subject (fluid, thermo) ngan satu yang dah hampir nak bunuh tapi aku merayu (math kejut 3), 2 subject yang cary marks aku rasa tak sampai separuh ( autocad, ethnic) dan satu pelajaran membaca yang aku masuk kelas tapi tak paham sepatah haram (Engineering entrepreneurship).

serba salah betul aku.. waaaaa

what inside my heart

who knows? who really knows? inside here, nobody see. you may see me laugh, smiling, but inside here, who knows?

as a girl, i try myself to be fit with the surrounding. i'm a daughter to a married couple. a biological child to them. what i do, is trying to cope what my parent wants. but sometimes, what they want, i don't want to do it.

and sometimes, friends doesn't really help. few of them did, but some of them gives more burden. i just don't know to say "NO", it just gives them more opportunity to take me down.. not addressing this to anyone, but, those who do, will know

fighting with my own feeling, it makes me hurt enough. i'm sad, everyday seeing what happens in my life, i will always pray to my Allah, hoping that HE gives me strength to face all the challenges.

i love my family, my life, my friends, and i hope my sacrifices will give a good return.

InsyaAllah~

oh...siapakah?

huhu...siapakah yang mebaca blog saya ini? selang 1 minit from perlis, cm pelik je..ngeee... and siapakah dr perak yang membaca blog saya ini? dr tronoh... siapa ye..nggeeee..

huhuhu..tak kisah lah... i believe my blog memang i buat open for public pon.... nvmd siapa yang membaca as long anda tak memijak maruah saya.

oh, siapakah, my post title for this time. hurm..bukan sahaja berkisar mengenai siapa baca blog saya sahaja. but, ada benda lain. i wanna ask, siapa diantara anda yang boleh merasakan apa yang orang lain rasa... walaupun org lain jauh dr anda?

not really me, but sometimes, benda tu datang tiba2... semalam, tiba-tiba i rasa there's someone yang sangat marah pada saya... bukan seorg, tapi 3 org. n, one of them is my senior... but after i ask him, he said, dia tak marah pun... huhu...but... salah seorang yang i rasa tu memang betul dia marah. takpe lah, i da say sorry.

dunno..but i hate this situation... please lah... i hope that i realy care, but, bila dah care sanagt, inilah jadinye..

well, memang perangai saya kot, suka cr masalah

boley jadi pulak

-Anugerah Khas Kebudayaan-

oh well, itulah yang saya dapat dalam Anugerah Gemilang Siswa semalam. but something happened yesterday menyebabkan aku jadi down tahap jurang dunia paling dalam..heheh

boleh plak, masa chorus lagu Can't take my eyes of you, oleh pecah plak time perkataan 'you'.
haiyooo..sungguh sedih~ dah lah pas abes slot show tu trus amek anugerah..adoi adoi adoi... sick~
selama ni slalu risau kat I sebab, itu first hight note, so macam kat situ nak control, skali,len plak jadinye..selama ni, takde lak masalah. ces.

pape pun, i just wanna say thank you pada En Wan, sebab kalo masa audition masa MSK tu En.Wan tak pilih, tak de nye aku dapat anugerah nih, thanks gak kat En Mi, sebab banyak tarik aku nyanyi ngan band, and dapat gak peluang men violin kat Unimap nih, walo pun aku tak sehebat mana pun.

thanks gak kat all band members: previous; Tono, Zul and Adnan and present; Naim, Daus, Pojie,Haikal, 4chain...thanks a lot. min and 4chain special thanks sebab angkut aku balik wang ulu..hehehe

to nasyid members jugak; Hanis, Anis, Fatin, Qauyum, Alimin, Din (budayawan kot), and others*just to name a few* thanks alot...

tak lupa gak festkum band members... pojie senior, nije ngan paan. nice memories. :)

itu je lah kot... heh.

oh ye..enough is enough... kembalilah pada buku n notes..suda abes show, jangan pikir lagi..walaupun kecewa..ye Irsya~~~~

congrats kat Din sebab dapat budayawan..to Qauyum and Kak Balqis..congrats dapat anugerah versatile... andalah budayawan dan budayawati yang saya kagumi di unimap..cayalah :)

i want cat

-my cat-

this week is the stressful week. everything that i wanted for joy, its never happened to be that way. yang lebih banyak terjadi ialah menangis,menagis dan menangis. fed up dengan persekitaran... sakit hati dengan suma yang jadi.

they said cats boley mengurangkan stress.. maybe i read it somewhere, or somene told me... maybe. because i'm much better in remembering what people said rather than what i read. i want cats. sangat menenangkan.

sebelum ni ada kucing, but then banyak kali ayah buang and banyak kali ayah try find balik. maybe sebab rasa bersalah kat mama yang selalu akan jadi tekanan darah bila tahu ayah buang kucing or kucing tu hilang.

balik cuti tengah sem baru ni, my dad bawak balik seekor kucing...memang lah tak leh compare ngan other cats yang cantik2 dulu tuh..but at least, adalah seko yang boleh di bawak main. i love it.. tapi suka sangat mengendeng...huhuhu...

nak kucing...nak kucing yang boleh dibawak tido, yang boleh dipeluk, yang boleh dibawak main, and paling penting yang boleh meng'enjoy'kan. kucing tak pandai nak nyakitkan hati orang, jd, i want cats.

huhuuhu...

kt wang ulu nih, banyak jecats...but, dr mana dorang datang itu meng'curious'kan. so tak leh nak peluk suka2 hati...most of them, memang kalo i juma, memang jadi mangsa lah kucing tu...kasi ragging. main kejar2, kasi main tali beg.. wah, kcing memang sangat cute...

nak kucing...kalo tak dapat kucing, bagi CJ7 pun tak pe...

warggghhh...

nak balik lah, but sanagt lah tak leh balik as sangat busy ngan exam...huk huk... kucing, please comes in my dream boleh? sanagt mahu peluk anda..huk huk huk

in memories; mok, hilang ntah mana ntah masa balik kampung..

if possible, mok, boley tak balik uma? mama rindu sangat with you. me too...rindu nak bawak masuk bilik time malam just untuk temankan i yang penakut ni tido... bile sedar pagi esoknye, you ada kat kaki...huhuhu...missing that time..even tahu chances untuk dapat balik adalah tipis, but i'm still hoping.

i wanna cry

i wanna cry.. really.. since i am form five, i didn't know how to manage my feeling if a problem on feeling after me. so sucks! the whole day of mine was nothing today...

Irsya...
remember the time you wrote here that you will only fall in love when you are in third year? where is the promise?
maybe it's the time to stop like people as people never know you like them. the word like isn't permanent. the word like is just a temporary.. but still when you like people, but they don't, it hurt you much.

seriously, and obviously, you should be a professional, as you will always see him after this, as people already know you. be a PROFESSIONAL. a people who have a work affair, shouldn't have a personal affair with each other.

stop blaming yourself, because every teenagers would like to feel of loving and being love. but as for now, please don't do it. cause you'll hurt and you will never secure anything unless a horrible life..

it's not wrong for being in love, but you always got a wrong person, a wrong situation and a wrong time!

I Feel sucks!

Alhamdulilla... i got UniMAP... under course: kejuruteraan Biosistem... tak tau lah future aku apa... but aku betul2 rasa cam TAK NAK PERGI..

aku tau...yang aku memang minat gile kat engineering... tp entahlah... tengok surat tawaran tu...

Rujukan Kami
:

UNIMAP/PEND/107/2/RK90/N/B/JUN2009

Tarikh: 18 JUN 2009


NUR SYAHIDATUL ANIS BINTI NASARUDIN
90071804****
NO. 264, JLN AROWANA 10,
TAMAN AROWANA IMPIAN
70300 SEREMBAN
NEGERI SEMBILAN

TEL : 0123210967

Saudara/i,

TAWARAN KEMASUKAN KE UNIVERSITI MALAYSIA PERLIS (UniMAP) BAGI SESI AKADEMIK 2009/2010


Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa saudara/i telah berjaya ditawarkan untuk mengikuti pengajian di Universiti Malaysia Perlis (UniMAP). Pihak Universiti mengucapkan setinggi-tinggi tahniah atas kejayaan ini. Berikut adalah perincian tawaran tersebut:


Program Pengajian: KEJURUTERAAN BIOSISTEM

Kod Program: RK90

Peringkat Pengajian: IJAZAH SARJANA MUDA

Pusat Pengajian: PUSAT PENGAJIAN KEJURUTERAAN BIOPROSES

Sila datang mendaftar di:

Tempat: KOLEJ KEDIAMAN UniMAP,
KAMPUNG WAI KUALA PERLIS,
PERLIS.

Tarikh: 28 JUN 2009

Masa: 8.30 PAGI - 2.00 PETANG

Bayaran Semester Pertama: RM 1,798.00


Yuran Pengajian Setahun: RM 35,675.88
Yuran Yang Dibayar Oleh Pelajar Setahun: RM 3,168.00
Kos Yang Ditanggung Oleh Kerajaan: RM 32,507.88


Saudara/i akan mengikuti Program Pengajian Kejuruteraan selama empat (4) tahun. Saudara/i hanya perlu membayar anggaran RM 10,972.00 sahaja untuk mendapat Ijazah Sarjana Muda Kejuruteraan . Sebanyak RM 119,059.52 lagi ditanggung oleh Kerajaan Malaysia.





2. Bersama ini dikemukakan lampiran-lampiran yang berkaitan dengan tawaran kemasukan. Sila baca dengan teliti arahan yang diberikan. Seterusnya sila lengkapkan lampiran-lampiran yang berkenaan untuk dikembalikan pada hari pendaftaran.





3 . Semoga kemasukan saudara/i ke UniMAP dapat dimanfaatkan dengan sebaik-baiknya dan menjadi titik permulaan kepada kejayaan-kejayaan lain yang akan menyusul dalam hidup saudara/i.

Sekian, terima kasih.


'BERKHIDMAT UNTUK NEGARA'‘Dinamisme Baru, Wajah Baru’


BRIG. JEN. DATO' PROF. DR. KAMARUDIN BIN HUSSIN

Naib Canselor

inila benda yang menyebabkan aku down gila! aku dah tak tau nak wat apa. because i've neve been given chances to talk.... if i can't settle this in three days... i'll not going to this...
i feel very sucks now

respond to Nadiah~ bila kenyataan tue menyakitkan..

huh... sometimes, we didn't know what they (our parent) really want. but for sure, they really care for our future. sampai dorang tak tau yang dorang dah pun menyakitkan sikit perasaan kita. but still, when parents do it to us, it does not considered as hurting us. because in our world now, community much care about children hurting their parents, not vice versa.

masalah kita hampir sama, but still, ada jugak yang bezanya. my parent keeps wanting me to be a doctor. actually hoping is the right word.

but with that **** pointer, how would i be? dengan pinjaman mara tak boleh nak buat... sangat sedih as i can't go to private. mana2 nak buat pinjaman pun tak boleh.

but still Nadiah, ko bley pergi private, but aku?? i only can hope for PTPTN. sedih hell..

Paling sedih bila waktu nak apply U, my munm still ask,"doktor dah tak boleh lah?" know what, walaupun dia tanya untuk her knowledge, but still hurt tahap gila nye. sebab sebelum ni aku dah penat cakap, and she has asked a lot of doctor kat hspital, for GIRLS, it needs 4 to be a doctor. penat lah... sedih sedih sedih..

tak pe lah.. sekarang ni, we can only hope for a miracle... sabar lah Nadiah... sabarlah aku juga..

Happy Mother's Day Mama

A little bit late to post..but HAppy Mother's Day Mama... suppose it's should be a very fine simple celebration.. but then... something happened....

i went to KL yesterday... because yan and uncle are going for umrah... so we stay at Yan's house for a night... Tengok AF...and i have to said dis..penipu punya Astro... tak nak aku tengok AF dah! huh!

so... esoknye kami ke KLIA. best..tapi... SOMETHING HAPPENED

suma org tau tax kat KLIA sangatlah tinggi. so i decide to not buy anything. then, my brother merengek nak beli McFlurry.... it cost RM 6.30...2 bugs more then the actual price...sangat lah bengang...and I said to mama... jangan turutkan... bukan busuk hati..but bosan ngan attitude both of my parents yang suka sangat turutkan adik i.

and then as usual... diturutkan jugak..and i was like yelling kat my mum.. saying something yang still bertapis... but sangat menyakitkan. she didn't express it to me.. but she talk with my other aunts saying what she do is right.. nothing wrong after all.

the whole day of mine was sucks!

i always want to fixed with my pricipe...parents always right... tapi.. untuk benda macam ni.. i don't think it's right.

Please Mum and Dad.. i'm not jealous.. but i want him to be better in future. if you keep giving what he wants... do you think he can?

i am so dissapointed.. Sumpah

Let's make it to the end

untuk membuatkan saya nampak bersalah, maka kamu yang berkaitan....saya sudah penat dan bosan main tarik tali dengan kamu... maka, jom end kan benda ni...saya akan usaha untuk lupakan kamu...

terima kasih sebab bagi saya peluang untuk dekat dengan kamu, kenal kamu lebih rapat, buat saya macam orang bodoh... sped half of my day thinking of you "sudah makan kah dia?", "sudah bangunkah dia?", "saya kacau diakah?"

BECAUSE I AM TOO TIRED OF IT!

MARI JADI MACAM DULU.

SO THAT SAYA TAK TERSEKSA LAGI!

jangan marah saya, tapi event baru2 ni, menyebabkan saya pk dua kali. kamu lambat response, sy makan hati, dan kamu terus marah sampai tak pernah care apa perasaan saya, tertunggu2 mesej kamu...risking my life there.... and KAMU YANG MARAH...padahal sepatutnya SAYA LEBIH BERHAK MARAH KAMU.

mungkin kamu sudah boring dengan saya... maka...

let's make this TTM relation to the end.

i rela we become a bestfriend..

forever!

bye bye

i use to hear this song now so that i will not feel so down...

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me alive
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked throught
All them grown full things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I miss you but I try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm be right next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye) [x3]
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I miss but I try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you (bye)
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye byyyyyye

(bye bye bye bye bye bye) [x3]
(The hardest thing to say byyyyye)
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandfather
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
(I never knew it)
And everyday life goes on like
(Everyday of my life I wish)
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
(I wish)
"I miss you but I try not to cry"
(I wish you could hold me as time goes by)
And soon as you reach a better place
(And soon as you reach a better place)
Still I'll give the world to see your face
(Still I'll give the world to see your face)
And I'll be right next to you
(And I'll be right here next to you)
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye
(And the hardest thing is to do is say bye byyyyyyyyyyyye)
It's hard to say bye bye bye bye bye bye so come on somebody sang it with me wave your hands up high
This for my peoples who just lost somebody
Said this is for eeeeeeeeverybody
Just clap your hands to the sky
Cause we will never say bye bye

i'll try to upload this song here....still on progress