i wish if..

i could turn back the time..

i think, it's about 5 am in the morning, when my dad enter the room, calming my mum, telling her that opah has passed away. i didn't heard it well, because at that time, blur blur because tgh tido.

but then when my mum start talking with her harsh voice (because of crying), i straightly ask her why. when she start to speak "pah dah tak de" i feel empty. nothing. sad, no. hurt maybe. because i didn't spend quality time with her during the last event.

kecewa sangat2. sebab berbual dengan dia sangat2 tak mesra. kat rumah ayah tam masa kenduri hari tu, dia sempat tanya bila cuti, and bila i said bulan 12, dia just diam je. tak cakap apa... then i leave.

and waktu tu sangat rushing nak balik. i don't even remember pergi salam dia. i think i don't. but she looked really healthy that time. and i thought i'll be able to talk with her again later, in the holiday that i have planned to spend half in her house.

i'll be missing her so much.

if i could turn back time, i want to go back to three weeks ago. i won't straight went home in seremban.. but i'll stay perak for few days before went back. hati sebenarnya dah berat nak balik ke seremban.. but i thought maybe sebab i takut accident, but rupa2nya.... i didn't spend enough time with her.

tapi..... redhakan lah dia pergi.

Al-fatihah