nothing attract me anymore

title tells you already.

nothing attract me anymore.

i'm facing my hard time now.

not even foods can attract me anymore. i'm bored of eating the same thing everyday

maybe that's the reason why

i face the same thing everyday, that makes me sick enough.

i wanna try something new. maybe by not eat anything will help me get my life back.

and i found out nothing can makes me excited when i do it.

*knock knock* ms. soul, are you in there?

i've learn something

our life is a process of learning. yes. i agree. and by today, I've learn something. i not saying this because i want people to say what i do is a noble and bla bla bla. just something.

i just love to sacrifice a lot. and i really mean it. especially when it goes with love. what will you do if ur friend, your very best friend fall in love with ur boyfriend. sucks isn't it? but i found out that it fun, even it was the worst part of my life.

at this time, i'll know if she really your bestfriend or not. yet, i've never found them as not. they always try to hide it from me. but at last, i know it.

and normally it end up she as my boyfriend new girlfriend. well, I'm out from the relation with the guy of course, but still, we're friend.a very close friend. even sometimes, we didn't know what we hide from each other.

but please people, do not sacrifice if you're not willingly to do that. not only in love, but in many other aspects in our life. if you really want to do what you want to do, just go for it. because, once you're not willingly to sacrifice, i'm afraid, you'll just talk about it in the future. and at that time, there will be a lot of people hurt.

just take this and always remember this, i love you all. and i hope that will be last forever.
:)

oOoOoOoOoO

i was blanks, no idea for what title. sebab nak ckp banyak, but by the end, ckp tak de pun. hehehhe..this week ialah minggu penuh godaan... somehow, tertanya2 gak apalah hikmah nye balik kampung ri tu? ni suma my cousin punya pasal. kalo dia tak encourage me minat kat johnny depp, mesti i tak minat kat dia...heheh..jokes, shahirah.

owh... don't know la.. tak pernah gila kat artis sampai macam ni sekali.. i am so damn minat gila2 sampai sanggup tido pukul 5 tunggu tenet line, so that i can watch him in youtube.. dahsyat kan?

well, so far, baru tgk beberapa je cerita dia. first movie yan menyebabkan jatuh hati kat dia ialah Alice. watak dia yang gila2 dalam Alice tu menyebabkan rasa sangat kagum.ye lah, susah kot nak wat watak cm tu. sebelum ni pun tgk cta Charlie and the choclate factories. sangat tak sangka willy wonka tu ialah dia..heheh... n start dr 2 movie ni la i start minat.. but tak macam sekarang nih.

start minat GILA kat johnny depp bila alik kampung masa study week ri tu.. sungguhlaaa~~~ dahsyat gila... i use to introduce my cousin kat johnny depp, and she keeps talking about him 24/7. eloklah tu. and i pulak layan dia..memang superb habis... balik ke wang ulu, i start search for all of his stories kat server budak2 ulu nih. hehe... even my senior un introduce cita yang dia berlakon kat i..hehehe..

n now, dah ada cita dia; pirate of caribbean, sleepy hollow, sweeney todd... n i'm waiting for corpse bride.later, cr cita lain.

and, i used to adore Helena Bonham Carter too.. sangat versatile... she can brings any character.any type, gila, kejam, baik, sweet, lovely, suma boleh. and rupa2nye, memang dia ada relation dgn Tim Burton. and Johnny depp tu plak, bestfriend Tim Burton and merupakan bapak angkat kepada anak 2 org nih.

i used to know Helena first before Johnny. first tahu helena masa dia berlakon cita harry potter. mula2 menyampah sangat ngan helena sebab watak dia dalam HP sangat jahat n gila. but the, bila tgk dia berlakon cita2 lain, memang nampak lah dia sangat versatile berlakon. hurm... suka lah.. macam la baru dikatakan terbaik. dok tgk org yang sama berlakon watak yang sama.... tak de variety.

saya bukan pelakon. maybe di sekolah dulu pernah berlakon sekali. my major is music and vocal. even until now. but, bakat mereka, memang sangat wajar dihargai..ngeee~ owh yes.. my fav director now is Tim Burton and music director is Danny Elfman... padan lah berdua tu selalu berlakon dalam cita Tim Burton, rupa2nye memang beraffair..hahahah

speaking of music, tadi dapat call dr jabatan kebudayaan perlis. asking if i'm free somewhere in May. ragu2 lah.. sebab, i da balik keseremban awal bulan 5 nih, and, i have promise with someone that i want to spare my time with him(my friend k, bukan my special). dah lama sangat wat dia kecik ati. but at the same time i really want to join the orchestra. but, if i join, means i da betray my U gak lah, sebab dorang de ajak join bengkel ghazal kat UTM, but i reject, because of the same reason, nk spare time with him, and of course my family. so, i decide, nnt baru bg tau kat kebudayaan perlis. i'm busy la this holiday. with that work, learn, and family day, i wonder how will i survive this holiday..ngeee~~

and paper math tadi memang mantap... luck always with me, what i used to stress on, suma keluar dengan big marks. but hope nothing. my works may be right but my answer slalu salah. fedup. but, i'll take what i get, as i always believed on "what u give, u get back". sono dissapoint later..

penat lah.. nanti kalo terlintas nak cita pasal helena @ Johnny depp @ Tim Burton @ Danny Elfman, nanti i tulis lagi..ngee~ daaa~

gelak gelak

sorry, you're too good looking for me.

i wanna use it sometimes. i have post it in facebook just to see how will people react to the statement. i'm soooooo not into love this time. pelikkan? someone who used to have a lotttt of special boyfriend masa secondary school and now was sooo not into love.

no. bukan sebab fobia. but i was so funny bila mengingatkan balik. rasa macam stupid je. and now, i used to see a lot of people who used to couple bagai nak rak nthen break. sengal.

i'm not sureif i really want to be in love. until when, we will see. someone yang able to take me as their partner is the one who able to open my heart to be in love back. sebab sekarang ni, memang dah takde. mungkin tak jumpa lagi kot. n the most important thing, siapalah yang nak aku nih???

if i used to say i like him, it just means i like him. bukan i love him. two different words ye tuan2 dan puan2. hehehe.. suka mengarut..maybe i'm too stress for this study week kot, that's why i merapu2.

ps//adore ngan my friend yang 'sorang' tuh. even jauh, masih bersama.. gaduh gaduh tu biasalah.. hhehehhehe...you know who kan cik Alia???

study week people

huhuhu... actualy it's nearly end.. hohoho *da macam santa claus da*

well, i'm in pah house in kuala kangsar, perak. nothing much happened for this week accept for math, johnny depp, alice, johnny depp, helena bonham carter, math, johnny depp. hahah... i'm a die hard fan of johnny depp and helena...huhu

mereka sangat versatile.. paling saya kagumi ialah Helena of course. she can act everything.
boleh jadi gila, psycho, jahat, baik. gosh..sungguh hebat. and of course johnny depp begitu juga. sikap dia yang memilih watak telah membantu..

ni apa kes cita pasal johnny depp dalam study week nye main point nih?

owh.. actually balik untuk cr ketenangan dirumah and studying of course. no, because di unimap memang lah tenang, but then, i can't stand myself staying somewhere in ulu. memang sangat damai. but, regarding to my homesick for a very long time, hence, i go home. and besides, my cousins she major in math, so, i decide to learn from her. bukan tak mo jumpa lecturer but, i don't feel comfortable for it. unless kalo da betul2 tak paham baru i jumpa.

besides, i wanna learn the basics back. shit myself for being a lazy and dumb person during form4, form 5 and matrix. now, have to learn back.

i never imagine myself stuck into engineering AND biology. but dah dapat ni, usaha je lah.. insyaAllah ada rezeki for me in the future..heheheh.. nice~~~

dah.. i wanna continue my revision. and to all my lovely friends, goodluck.

ps:// i'm going back to ulu tomorrow. nicee...*smirks*

merapu sebab bosan

owh..ada satu blog nih. saya sangat suka baca. don't know why. maybe the way he expressed his feeling sangat lah matured.. i said the way he expressed, bukan he himself. well,i don't know him but, i just love to read his blog. memang tak kenal dia ye.. huhuhu

what i wonder is, apa yang menyebabkan seseorg memandang kita matured? adakah sebab cara kita bercakap? or the way we used to appear infront of the audience? or many others things?
tak tau nak explain apa..

ada org ckp, anda bercakap dengan sangat matang.. apa yang matang? idea itu ke or intonation dia... seriously, i don't know.

ada org tak mau saya jadi matang, mungkin sebab itu saya tak tau kot..heee~

well, cukuplah pasal kematangan nih.. huhuhu

thencita pasal our PLV naik bas sebab nak suruh student gi kelas. well cita dia cm ni. pagi rabu lepas, kami ada lab test. so, lepas habis lab test tu, kami tanya our plv wanita kami, kelas biomat ada tak. n she said, she don't know. but then, one of my classmate said, kelas tak de, so kami pun apa lagi, berlari la nak naik bas.

in 5 minutes time, suma classmate kami dah ada kat depan ready nak naik bas, then our PLV datang ckp ada kelas. he's the one yang call lecturer tu for confirmation. yang mana2 yang memang menunggu ada kelas suma willingly masuk balik kelas, well, that one tak termasuk aku lah kan. so, aku and a few kawan aku yang memang dah hilang mood nak masuk kelas, terus je duduk dalam bas. and one of my classmates yang taktau la apa function dia nek bas lepas our plv da nampak dia, keep on turun naik bas. so, sebab our plv da nampak dia, our PLV pun naik lah bas tu, cr kiteorg ada tak dalam bas tu. that one is the funny part when he said to the bus driver," abg jangan jalan, bang. suruh budak2 ni pergi kelas"... and i was like, what the heck? and aku trus turun, bukan sebab aku memang nak turun, but aku takut aku ketawa terbahak2 dalam bas tu..hahah.. by the end, kami pergi gak kelas, just untuk isi evaluation form. hahah..en Hisham, anda memang terbaik.. tiada gantinye..hahahha

cerita bout my classmates yang sangat lah tak suka present, and normally they will always point me out. geram geram. apalah yang takut sangat nak membentang nih? interview tu nanti, korag tak ley buat, jangan nak salahkan org lain sebab slalu sangat suruh org lain bentang. memang lah rezeki ada kat mana2, tapi, rezeki tak datang bergolek, you have to make an effort too.

papelah korang. mungkin sebab korang rasa yang aku ni sangat bagus bila present, and korang pulak sangat hampeh untuk present, then, tak pe lah.. tapi aku nak markah lebih. jangan final results nanti korang A aku A- memang aku tak halalkan apa aku dah buat. wakakak..owh word sungguh tak leh kawal bila dah geram.

well i'm good. kalo korang tak nak aku perasan bagus, then you should prove that you guys are more better than me... waaaaa~ suka nye jadi sinis.

ps:// ri tu ada program kat dewan terbuka. and haruske abg tu ckp aku cm ustazah??? lembut je.... hahahha..abg, you wrongly intepreting me laaa... saya lembut that time sebab nak suh abes cepat. so that i can go home.. so funny..because i know the real me.. i'm not a soft person for no reason. tapi yang peliknye, bukan abg tu je yang ckp, my friends pun ada cakap. gor god sake, sumpah tak tahu dimanakah letaknye kelembutan tu... hahahah

pss// kawan tu apa?

Oh my goodness

that guy is soooo damn hell annoying. i don't care about you. and i believe you shouldn't care bout me too.... mind ur own bussiness.please.

i didn't hate you because you're a loud person, love to speak what ever you wanna speak, but, i just hate you because you're such a hypocrite. if you still love her, go on for it. why use me? then when you hate the way i expressed what happened in my daily life, you just talk it, not infront of me, but somewhere away, with everyone knows what you just hate.

and also, i might be consider if you just hate me, but then you just similarize me and my friend. please... she's not like me and i'm not like her. what we do is just comforting each other. oh maybe because you're so annoying no one comfort you, and you're jealous with it. congratulations... i don't even think you know what is love mean.

it's not about i love you, you love me. it's not about relationship between two people. you should know, when you use to love someone, you should comfort her, appreciate her, not just dump her just like what you did.

for ur word sayin i'm pathetic for not accepting what happened in my life...just look at you. how long you can't accept the fact that she has leave you. you're just the same.. so don't simply said as u get back ur words.

just go on with your life. it's normal for a person to take their time to adapt to what happened around them. i'm not running away from my problem, i just need time. and i couldn't ask people to accept my way, and i will never ask them to do so, i just have to tell them who i really is. it's up to them what are they going to judge me next.

-oh..this is so irritating-

ps// i'm not mad because of what you say, but i'm mad because you're response to me but indirectly. just response to me ok. you're so egoistic. n now i think you're the one who pathetic. to scared to do so..

oh...siapakah?

huhu...siapakah yang mebaca blog saya ini? selang 1 minit from perlis, cm pelik je..ngeee... and siapakah dr perak yang membaca blog saya ini? dr tronoh... siapa ye..nggeeee..

huhuhu..tak kisah lah... i believe my blog memang i buat open for public pon.... nvmd siapa yang membaca as long anda tak memijak maruah saya.

oh, siapakah, my post title for this time. hurm..bukan sahaja berkisar mengenai siapa baca blog saya sahaja. but, ada benda lain. i wanna ask, siapa diantara anda yang boleh merasakan apa yang orang lain rasa... walaupun org lain jauh dr anda?

not really me, but sometimes, benda tu datang tiba2... semalam, tiba-tiba i rasa there's someone yang sangat marah pada saya... bukan seorg, tapi 3 org. n, one of them is my senior... but after i ask him, he said, dia tak marah pun... huhu...but... salah seorang yang i rasa tu memang betul dia marah. takpe lah, i da say sorry.

dunno..but i hate this situation... please lah... i hope that i realy care, but, bila dah care sanagt, inilah jadinye..

well, memang perangai saya kot, suka cr masalah

Kosmo oh Kosmo

anda ni punya cerita atau tak? sikitnye penjelasan anda mengenai Unimap punya course hanya 2 diiktiraf.

tanya lah dulu kat LAN, BEM and Bla bla bla yang tak iktiraf unimap tuh. kenapa... apa procedure dia...baru lah panjang sket cerita tuh.. tajuk cm gempak, isi?

macam ketandusan berita jerk :P

boley jadi pulak

-Anugerah Khas Kebudayaan-

oh well, itulah yang saya dapat dalam Anugerah Gemilang Siswa semalam. but something happened yesterday menyebabkan aku jadi down tahap jurang dunia paling dalam..heheh

boleh plak, masa chorus lagu Can't take my eyes of you, oleh pecah plak time perkataan 'you'.
haiyooo..sungguh sedih~ dah lah pas abes slot show tu trus amek anugerah..adoi adoi adoi... sick~
selama ni slalu risau kat I sebab, itu first hight note, so macam kat situ nak control, skali,len plak jadinye..selama ni, takde lak masalah. ces.

pape pun, i just wanna say thank you pada En Wan, sebab kalo masa audition masa MSK tu En.Wan tak pilih, tak de nye aku dapat anugerah nih, thanks gak kat En Mi, sebab banyak tarik aku nyanyi ngan band, and dapat gak peluang men violin kat Unimap nih, walo pun aku tak sehebat mana pun.

thanks gak kat all band members: previous; Tono, Zul and Adnan and present; Naim, Daus, Pojie,Haikal, 4chain...thanks a lot. min and 4chain special thanks sebab angkut aku balik wang ulu..hehehe

to nasyid members jugak; Hanis, Anis, Fatin, Qauyum, Alimin, Din (budayawan kot), and others*just to name a few* thanks alot...

tak lupa gak festkum band members... pojie senior, nije ngan paan. nice memories. :)

itu je lah kot... heh.

oh ye..enough is enough... kembalilah pada buku n notes..suda abes show, jangan pikir lagi..walaupun kecewa..ye Irsya~~~~

congrats kat Din sebab dapat budayawan..to Qauyum and Kak Balqis..congrats dapat anugerah versatile... andalah budayawan dan budayawati yang saya kagumi di unimap..cayalah :)